Hi this may be long but I don't know what to think I've been with my partner for 15years too long he's a liar and gambling addict goes through over $300 or more a wk on god knows we are always fighting over everything. He doesn't communicate it's his way or highway but this latest thing has really pissed me off my 22 year old daughter still lives at home and she has a boyfriend who stays over quite often they pay for all there own food and stuff he only really sleeps here and has a shower that's it but my partner is pissed off because he's always here he says hes a bludger and he shouldn't be paying for him to stay here but he's not they pay for there own stuff I really don't see the problem he's rude to him won't talk seems really awkward and it makes the house very uneasy I can feel the tension I feel like I'm in the middle all the time we don't have much money and have a lot of debt and he doesn't have a very good car but he makes out the one shower he has a day is the reason for our money problems to add he's been like this with all my daughter's boyfriends to me it's jealousy I just don't see the issue he hates people he does hate anybody coming here he trys to turn it into the biggest issue ever and you can't reason with him at all counselling doesn't work we have been the counsellor stopped seeing him saying he's unhelpable basically and doesn't listen just done to be honest and he has this way of turning everything around to be my fault when it's not I know that anyway the boyfriend is moving into his own place soon but I feel like it's ruining my realtionship with my daughter because of all this.
8 Replies
Cause it’s time to get free of your dead beat partner.
You are ruining your relationship with your daughter because you haven’t left this asshole!
Why are you staying?
If the boyfriend is living there without paying board he is free loading and you should be annoyed too. Does your daughter pay board? Even if they buy their own food they are still using power, water, internet and contributing to things needing cleaning, extra pressure on appliances like washing machine, fridge, microwave, kettle, oven which shortens their life and need to be replaced more. You might only see it as just a shower but there's more to it and yes I would be resentful of a grown ass man living at my house at my expense. The other things are a separate issue and it sounds as though you don't really want to be in a relationship with him any more so don't waste more of your time just end it.
Look, the boyfriend and your daughter probably should be paying a little bit of board just to contribute to the utilities. Especially given that your financial struggles don't really put you in a position to be accommodating two additional adults.
However, your partner doesn't get to gamble upwards of $300 a week up the wall, dig you into debt and leave you without enough money to properly live on then complain about freeloaders. Talk about having the audacity!!!
You really need to be done with this man. Your relationship with your daughter is at stake, your financial situation is dire and living like this will destroy you eventually, in more ways than one.
Leave your deadbeat husband and live peacefully with your daughter.
Time for you to walk away and start fresh.
Daughters boyfriend is not the problem.
Fuck off the $300pw drain on your finances and you'll likely find your daughter and her boyfriend will happily pay you a little bit of board.
In the same situation I wouldn't be paying, knowing it was going to a piece of shit like him either.
So they just drain them instead?
Have you considered that your lump of flesh has sexually assaulted your daughter when she was younger? I've seen this before, where the step father is jealous of the step daughters boyfriends. Turns out he had been abusing her and that's why he was jealous because of that.
Also, get rid of him. Why are you with him if you describe him the way you have? You deserve to be loved and respected.
Anyway, please approach this subject with your daughter, and remember it takes about 20 years for a victim to admit it, and often you need to ask several times before they share that It happened (assuming they haven't blocked it out).