Does any one have a FWB that can shed some light on what the rules are, if any?
I have a FWB. I got out of a relationship about 4 months ago. I went on a few dates with this guy when my ex and I were on a break. Now that we are done this guy has popped back up. We made an agreement to just be friends with benefits.
He told me that if we sleep together I don't need to think he will get any ideas of being in a relationship. He told me this after I told him I had rebound sex after my break up and this guy went full on with me. Would of told me he loved me by date 3.
I said good cause it's only going to be casual.
He has messaged and asked if I like photos of someone you're having fun with. So here he thinks this is just fun, which is how I want it.
So now I'm lost.. I've never had a FWB before.
He started to come over once a week. Now it's more like 3x a week.
He asked me to the movies with him. Dinner and drinks before..
I didn't realise we had a date set for Friday next week. And I told him in passing i have to work 3 Saturdays in a row and im a bit annoyed. He said oh so no move date then.. I didn't even think
Any way he has told me today after I said I hope he isn't getting any ideas on dating me he told me he likes me and likes to see me..
Help me? Is there a line with FWB. What is acceptable to do/times to see each other.
Or do you call it off after someone starts to attach feelings.
I have a work meeting tonight. I told him I was busy. He said he had a dinner but he could pop over after my meeting, or I could just leave it, up to you.. but I had already said I was busy tonight. I'm not sure how to take that message?
He also told me he isn't sleeping with anyone else and he would like to know if I am..
Of couse I am, I'm not going to lie. I'm single again finally I'm getting back out there. I've been out dancing. I'm living and I'm having so much fun. I'm aloud that I feel after the crap I have been through
Do you tell you FWB you are sleeping with others?
Please help this single mumma out.
11 Replies
FWB never works. One person always gets the feels, or starts to get possessive.
Honestly, if you don't want "dating" you're better off just living the single life, picking up one night stands if you feel like it, and not leaving your number.
This is already pushing your boundaries, wanting dinner & movies & getting weird because you have to work & can't go on his planned date.
If you're just looking for regular sex with no ties, what you want is a "booty call". Or one-nighters.
If you want the company and the social aspect as well, then this is your guy - but be very aware, he is already seeing himself as boyfriend, regardless of what you label it
It never, never works! I tried so hard to make them work, because relationships are just not great for me right now. Someone always tried to make it something!
If you are seeing someone more than once a week, you are having dinner etc that’s not a friends with benefits. That’s a boyfriend!
Make it very clear to him you are seeing other people. Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to see him, or being busy. You don’t owe any explanations and you don’t have to feel guilty.
Although in a friends with benefit situation, if I felt like having sex, I would be totally ok with having a guy around after a meeting etc, having sex and then expecting him to leave.
I had a FWB when i was 16, we had feelings, dated for a week and decided we just wanted to continue a sexual friendship. He is still one or my best friends almost 20 years later. We stopped the sexual stuff by the time we were 19 and found other relationships.
I know people who started as FWB and ended up married.
If you don’t have feelings for him, make it known and stick with contact for booty calls only. If he wants more then you need to end this before he gets more hurt.
Yes you absolutely tell your FWB if you're sleeping with someone else, it increases the risk of STI's. They can then decide if they're willing to take the risk. I don't mind casual relationships but would never be in a sexual relationship with two people at the same time, that's a bit gross yuk to me.
I agree with this
The poor guy, if you don’t genuinely have feels for him then stop it. He sounds like a decent genuine guy and if you are getting What you want elsewhere then why are you still continuing this with him. let him down gently and get out and do what ever you want with who ever you want but don’t keep doing this to him. He sounds like he has a heart and it’s in a good place. Finish it now before you hurt him. FWB doesn’t work mostly. One always ends up falling.
You are also putting him at risk and it’s nice to know that he is honest. You need to be honest with him, he prob wouldn’t touch you again.
Exactly, if you're out fucking around, don't have a FWB.
This is a tuff one. What started as FWB has progressed, VERY slowly. We are both not in the position to move to something serious. We live our own lives and hook up when we are both free. In saying that we are exclusive, i think the other person deserves to know if you seeing someone else, more so for respect and health reasons.
You can say that the arrangement that you are comfortable with is he is free to hook up with whenever and so are you. Let him know you don't want commitment or exclusivity from him, and if that's what he is wanting then maybe it's better to call it quits so he doesn't get hurt.
I would be honest. Mainly because when you enter a FWB relationship, it is somewhat mutually exclusive. Where you both understand you have a sexual relationship.
If you're sleeping around, why would you need a FWB relationship?
With you sleeping around and also with him, it raises the risk of STI's for the both of you.
If you don't want to that type of relationship, be honest and let him know. You aren't interested in any exclusively at all and see where it goes from there.
Perhaps a booty call relationship is more what you are after? Where it is purely a sexual relationship with no strings at all.