WWYD? Ive been close friends with this person most of my life and we have a great friendship until money comes in. When we do something together she disappears when the bill comes. Eats all my food when she comes to stay and never buys a single thing but exoects me to buy when i visit her. Will borrow money then not pay it back.
She currently has owed me money for months, saying shes broke then on FB shes showing of unnecessary crap shes bought. Ive realised she has a huge sense of entitlement to have me pay for everything because we are doing better financially and there is def some jealousy there. But what's important to note is that we are doing better because quite simply we work harder and make better decisions. I dont look down on her at all, but i resent this idea that because my husband and i work hard and therefore earn more we should be helping her all the time.
8 Replies
Cut her off
I had a friend like this. I got her out of my life. In the end I felt so used and felt like it wasn’t a friendship on her part. I would get so upset when she left because it was so obvious that she got something out of my each time. I am not like that at all and it was so hurtful. I no longer have anything to do with her.
Cut her off financially. Just raise the bar and treat her like an adult, not your kid. Or if that’s too hard to change this far in, announce that you’re saving hard and will be hardcore budgeting. Gives you the chance to talk about it when you order or buy anything. The movies? Ummm yeah I have 16dollars so I can do my ticket and we could split popcorn. A coffee? Yeah I’ll just do a latte that’s $5 that’s my limit for today.
She's not a friend, she's a leech.
My best friend is a lot better off financially than I am - she and her husband both have very good jobs. She often offers to shout me coffees or whatever and I know she'd give me money without hesitation if I asked (which I never ever would) because she's the kindest soul on the planet. I always decline her offers though because it makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't want to have that kind of imbalance within my friendship.
Your friend is using you, plain and simple.
She takes advantage of you because she knows she can and because in her mind it's justified because you're doing well for yourself and she isn't.
Over entitled, expect something for nothing type of people are the worst and it probably won't change.
No more loaning money. If you eat out she pays half. Stop paying for her.
Your friend is not flakey. She sees an opportunity to get things for free and is using you. I suggest stop paying & make her believe you don't have spare money to spend on or lend her.
Go to cafes or restaurants where you order and pay before receiving your food so she can't disappear on the bill. Let her line up & pay first & say sorry, I can't afford to pay for you if she asks you to pay, or loan her money. If she visits only have simple, cheap foods available & buy the same at hers (no take away). You'll find she either turns on the guilt, gets the message & stumps up or disappears. My money is on disappearing.
I've had many 'friends' try this on over the years because we save & don't spend frivolously. Sadly we now play down our finances to everyone or we're targeted for loans.
Find new friends. She sounds bloody horrible
My BF and her husband earn double me and my husband. We pay for everything that we cost when we visit each other. I hate owing money. I would hate her feeling like I owe. I pay my own way when I go there and she does the same here. Make a line in thr sand and pay what you owe and make her do the same.