I have been single for coming up 2 years now and been a single mother of 3 during those times
My problem is I get the ‘ick’ with anyone I meet.. I’ve gone on a couple of dates during this time and I just do not feel anything infact I can’t wait to be away from them when I do meet them.
I am constantly told I push men away. One has been the perfect guy almost and he came over today and I just couldn’t wait for him to leave. I do not sleep with anybody, I can’t even bring myself to touch them at all.
What’s wrong with me I think I’m broken I can’t really afford to be so picky considering I’m no trophy wife with 3 kids to another man.. I come with baggage. Why am I like this?
7 Replies
You don’t have to date, you don’t have to be in a relationship.
It’s ok to take your time and wait until you feel ready, don’t feel ick etc.
There isn’t anything wrong with you and you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with being single, and nothing wrong with enjoying your own company or wanting your own space.
If you want to date, then date, but you are under no obligation to get into a relationship because you went on a couple of dates. When the right guy comes along, and when you feel ready, then the ick will go.
Unfortunately society has kind of conditioned us to think being single is the literal lowest state you can be in, and it’s just not a healthy thought process. You don’t have to be with someone just because they are nice or polite!
If you want to, speak to a counsellor it might be helpful to clarify what your goals and thought processes are.
You are not broken!
Firstly, you need to see your value!
You're not just some unattractive, damaged wench who should be glad any old man has paid an interest. You are a beautiful, whole woman who deserves the best - you can and should be picky!
Secondly, your children and previous life experience are not baggage. Any man who sees your children as a cross he must bear in order to be with you ain't worth your time sister - a good man should see your children as a bonus.
Thirdly, you don't have to date if you're not feeling it. I kind of get the sense this is something you feel obligated or pressured to do rather than dating being something you actually want to do.
Someone can be "the perfect guy almost" on paper and still not be the one you click with.
What's the rush? If you don't enjoy dating, don't.
You don’t have to want one! Being a single mum is a tough gig. Depending also what happened with the past ones, that could be a reason your spider senses say no way. But maybe you’re just putting all of yourself into your life, yourself and your kids right now.
You don’t have to be with someone. You prob enjoy your life being on your own.
These men just haven't brought any value to your life, no matter how great they are.
And if you are busy then libido is usually the first to go. Or perhaps you are just not ready yet. Nothing is wrong with you, don't feel the social pressure to be in a Relationship. Just concentrate on your kids for now and if you meet someone you have the right chemistry with then you will know it!
Why do you feel broken because all the men you've met give you the ick? Maybe it's your brain and body telling you to just be single and enjoy your own life.
Get a vibrator & stop dating just for the sake of dating. Delete your apps. Find some girlfriends in a similar position to you and have some fun.