My 13yo daughter is so unhappy with her body and appearance and she cries every day and I don’t know what else to do. The poor thing has huge breasts, I don’t know what size because she’s too embarrassed to get a sizing done, but I think F+ cup. She says they hurt from being heavy and she has been getting teased about the size. She has asked for a breast reduction and we haven’t been to a doctor but I keep telling her that she’s too young. I am trying to tell her that her body is still growing and will change again, but it’s horrible to see how upset she is. I don’t know where the large breasts come from, not my family. She’s also short for her age and stocky, so the large breasts makes her body disproportionate. I’m trying to say positive things to her about body image. But does anyone have any suggestions to make her love her body. Do we need to go to a doctor or someone else? Thanks in advance for your suggestions.
12 Replies
Poor girl. I would take her to a female doctor for a chat about breast reduction and what can be done about back pain. Maybe she needs to see a physio for back strengthening exercises and core strength. Even though she may be too young for the reduction she at least has had the chat, knows when she can have it etc. Tell the school what is going on with her getting teased.
As a large breasted person, I feel her pain. I know it’s embarrassing at this age, but I was bigger breasted in my early teenage years than I was in my mid to late teens, as some puppy fat did fall off.
I did get larger again after having my son.
For example year 8 I was f, year 11 and 12 I was a C and now I’m a H. At 5ft 1 I looked ridiculous as a young teen.
It would probably be good to have a chat to her GP but be prepared that most reputable surgeons won’t do anything at this age, because her body will be changing a lot.
Wearing a good fitting bra will make her look smaller than she does now, and you can do some fittings yourself at home. It will also help with pan. Many websites talk you through how to do this. Once you get an idea on size, you can order a selection of bras on credit card, I ‘buy’ way more than I plan to keep, find the style I like and return the rest.
The people teasing her are going to undo any good work you do on her, and getting the breasts reduced won’t stop the bullying, it just shifts to a new thing (from personal experience of being bullied). I’d look at the culture of her school and there attitudes towards bullying.
Get onto a breast reduction. Weight loss also obviously results in breast tissue loss and that helps, it also helps with making a reduction end up in a nice body shape, not a small top larger tummy sitch. And it will give her a plan for the next year, because the doctor may well say she needs to wait until 15 or 16. She needs to really look at the scarring as well - I’m fine with it but I’m not sure how my body esteem would handle that as a teen.
Tell her it may get better!
As hormones are pumping it’s normal for boobs to be larger at this age. I’d help her find some nice fitting bras that take pressure off her back. A physio is a good place to start.
A breast reduction at this age won’t be considered, but let her talk to a doctor who can relay all her options for the future- give her some hope.
Let her know a few of us have been there… I was a DD in year 6, got my period year 7 and they got at least 2 sizes bigger.
I dropped out year 10, and my boobs settled around then to a normal C almost a D. When I was pregnant, they were Massive, easily an F.
Then now at 35, and 1 child I’m a size 14C.
Hope this helps x
Same here! When I was 12 my breasts were massive but now in my adulthood and after having kids they're a more reasonable size. I actually wouldn't mind having them bigger again.
After kids, but most 14 year olds aren’t planning kids any time soon. If they were after being a young mum then I’d agree and say wait and sort them out after, but if they’re not planning on being a mum until 25+ then reduction definitely.
On the other side, boobs after a reduction and after kids are great too. It did affect breastfeeding though, as dr will explain.
Please take her to a dr and get a referral to a specialist. They can tell her if she can or can’t have the reduction. Don’t put her through anymore embarrassment if it is affecting her then please let her speak to professionals and let her decide. It can cause all sorts of back problems too. Let the professionals decide and go from there.
My niece had to wait until she was almost 17. They need the body frame to be fairly fully grown from what her mum ( who also had a breast reduction) said
I had a friend extremely similar, she was miserable. She was allowed a reduction the day she turned 16, they had it all planned well in advance so she had something to really look forward to and kept her going.
It was honestly the best thing she ever did for herself and changed her life completely.
Aside from a reduction the best way to get around the daily pain is to be measured (it’s so daunting but not actually that horrifying) and to buy proper support, like berlei sports bras with the wide shoulder and cross strap that helps with backache. But you really need to try them on to find the right fit, it’s the only way to know it’ll be right. Otherwise have a look online and see if you can do free returns then measure, order a few sizes and return the wrong ones.
I think I’d get her a really decent sports bra for now. That will be very supportive of her back - while also flattening down her chest… which I guess is what she’s after? Good luck
My Daughter is 11 and at a 14 G/F you need to make her feel normal! She is not too young, she is how nature intended her to be.... you will be her go to for comfort and if you continue to tell her she is too young she won't be at ease with her self image.... as she will feel abnormal... I took my daughter for a professional fitting in March 2021 and she was 14DD, I've just taken her for another fitting last month and she is at a 14 F/G....... I think she is perfect how she is despite how quickly she is growing! We are constantly bombarded with how we should look according to social media and the stereotypes we face daily! Enough is enough... time to accept us for who we are and how we look!