Hi mums, hoping you can help me please as I’m lost
2 weeks ago, i had a miscarriage. I was almost 11 weeks. It wasn’t a planned pregnancy and at first I was completely shocked but then the excitement came and I was so happy.
I have since hit absolute rock bottom.
I said to my husband I want to try again in a few months to which he replied that he doesn’t want another baby. And that he was relieved that it happened as he didn’t really want to have it. We are both late thirties and already have one child and we we’re always unsure whether to have another child. The loss has changed me and I absolutely want to have another one. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to live with regret and look back in 10 years time and resent him as we didn’t have another child. I’m considering leaving him but I’m scared. We’ve been together for 16 years and I can’t imagine my life without him. But I don’t know if this is something I can get over.
Please no harsh comments, I am still grieving the loss and don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
6 Replies
I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m hoping I’m going to say this in the kindest way I can, and I hope it doesn’t come off as me minimising how you feel. Your grief is genuine.
Your hormones however are going to be on a roller coaster for a while. So personally I would delay making any decisions for a few months, or getting into discussions about trying again. When your body settles down you may/may not feel very differently.
You may need some counselling to help you both work through your grief and come to a decision. It may not go the way you want it to, and if that does happen, I promise you will be ok.
No need to delay , she knows what she wants hormones or not!
I agree. Take some time. Grieve this child. Get some counselling to help you both connect and communicate. Hubby might learn some more sensitive communication methods. Hugs xx
I would leave too. What a thing to say to you! You just have a miscarriage and he said that. Tell him you are leaving. There is nothing more you want than another baby and it he doesn’t want one, you’ll find someone respectful to you, who does!
It is an emotional time. Take the time to grieve and then talk about it again. If having another baby is a deal breaker go to counselling with him so you can let him know how important it is.Don’t make harsh decisions while you are grieving.
I could have written this myself as I am going through the exact same thing.
I don’t have any solid advice for you but wanted to let you know even though we don’t know each other and probably never will, you aren’t alone, you are not going crazy, you are allowed to hurt and allowed to be angry at the world.
I really wish I could give you a big hug, and I hope you can at least take a little comfort in knowing that someone else is right here with you, taking each minute as it comes xx
And don’t forget to breathe.