I've been seeing a guy for a little over a month, we've been on a few dates and text almost every day. We've also discussed meeting one another's children, going away for the weekend together and basically seeing one another regularly. He also mentioned our kids needing to get used to the idea of us hanging out. We met on a dating site and in a recent discussion I mentioned removing my profile from the site as we are both still there. He was non committal and said it was up to me and no pressure from him. I was confused about what was happening and went on a date with someone else who has asked about a 2nd date and have had other date offers.
We've had amazing sex and talk regularly about having adventures together.
I'm feeling that there's some signs of a relationship starting, but I'm not sure. Also not sure whether to keep dating others or hold on for the possibility of a relationship.
Dating Dilemma
Dating Dilemma
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
10 Replies
Definitely clarify the commitment before you let him get your kids used to you ‘hanging out’. If he wants to go slow cool, keep your kids out of it for now (either way, really) a months long enough to know if he wants to do it exclusively or not. Ask the question then if it doesn’t align with what you want, move on and keep dating.
Yer keep the kids out of it, especially if you are confused. I wouldn’t be letting my kids meet anyone until i knew it was serious and I felt comfortable.
Kids definitely need to be left out of it.
I would hold off dating other people, give the first guy a few months to see where it's going. If he's still steadily interested and you are too then it's worth giving a few months to see if there's a decent vibe there.
Guy number one is sending mixed messages. If he’s not ready to take his profile down, he isn’t ready to discuss meeting children. If he starts making plans like that again be firm, set a boundary ‘I’m not comfortable discussing that while we still have dating profiles up and have not known each other long enough.’
Even then, I wouldn’t intro my kids to someone until the 6 month mark.
My guess is he wants more sex and that’s easier if you can have a sleep over with kids, rather than thinking about the effect that has on kids, plus strong bang-nanny vibes. Some guys look to hook a woman into a relationship so she can be free child care.
Be very suspicious of him. Him wanting to intro the kids is not a compliment, it’s a red flag.
I’d probably get rid of the first guy. Date the second guy, really get to know him and don’t get caught up in rushing conversations.
I hope for your sake his name isn't Steve and you met him on zoosk. There's alot of fake personalities on dating sites
Little over a month and already wants to introduce the kids.
NEXT.
Until number 1 is ready to commit I wouldn't be introducing my kids. And like others have said he is sending mixed messages, on one hand talking about kids meeting and adventures and then not willing to take down his profile, that's just confusing!
I'd keep the door open to other dates, number 1 is most likely doing the same!
Don't bring kids into this!! Why the urgency to meet the kids? You have known him for a MONTH!! Don't be so trusting..
I met 2 guys online at the same time. was talking to guy 1 for 3 months but no mention of meeting up just lots of talking and we clicked. He was really busy. The other one decided to meet up after a few weeks. He also had issues with work commitments and goes away a lot. We went away for the weekend on our 3rd date so I could help him take a truck somewhere. We saw each other heaps he accidentally met my kids when we slept in and he didn't get up and leave early enough.
He wasn't ready for commitment though. Then he freaked out and wanted some time had issues with his ex and access to kids etc too. We got on well and enjoyed each others company.
Meanwhile guy 1 brought up meeting up but thought hed been friend zoned. I thought hed friendzoned me lol. I figured it's just dinner why not. I knew the moment I saw him he was tonight have a big impact on my life whether it lasted or not.
Then guy no2 got himself sorted and wanted to see me again but he'd moved 2 hours away into his own place closer to work. We talked for a bit.
Guy no 1 freaked out as things were too good. So when I got another invite to go visit i went and saw guy no2.
They both knew about each other btw.
While at guy no2s guy no1 called. I made him wait but went and saw him when we got back. Neither guy wanted to commit to anything... frustrating. Both still had active profiles.
I eventually made a decision when I was ready and now guy no1 and I have been together 6 years and im good friends with guy no2.
Point is... take your time make sure you know what you want and don't settle. Make sure you are both on same page.
We kept kids out of it for a year. Now we live together with all the kids and things are great. I don't regret testing things and keeping my options open and making the right choice.