I'm married... but I want to go to a swingers club, and I don't want my husband to know.
Want to go solo.
Married 7 years
2 kids
I just want to do it solo.
I've been 1 time before with an ex boyf but hardly remember it.
Does anyone know is that allowed?
And also. Is it terrible I want to do solo?
21 Replies
It’s terrible to want to do this without your partner. IT IS CHEATING, end of story.
If you want a sex life you don’t want your partner to know about, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Go be single. But don’t put your partner at risk for STDs, and cheat on him.
That’s not ok under any circumstance.
You don't have to ask permission to cheat I guess. So I assume it's 'allowed'. Would you be ok with your husband fucking around behind your back?
If you have different sex preferences, if you have needs that you want fulfilled then I would actually get counselling because you both deserve to be happy. Explore your sexualities, your needs and desires as a couple, so that way you both enjoy yourselves for the next 30-40 years.
If not, then separate. Don't do this to yourself and to him. Lies breed lies. The truth will come out and it will be diabolical. Just imagine your kids finding out in a few years time and what your relationship would be like.
Is it allowed? To cheat on your husband and break your kids family beneath their feet? Is that terrible? How would you feel if it was done to you and your children? Just be honest.
But I’m interested, if you can go, why can’t he?
I'm thinking this is a troll post....
I know someone like this.
Well, I use to know someone like this. I'm glad my moral compass took a different turn than hers.
If you need to ask if this is terrible your moral compass is way off. I’d suggest thinking of everyone involved. Not just yourself! Your children deserve a chance at a family and your husband deserves to know where his damn wife has been! It’s one thing if he choose this too but I’d be disgusted to think that choice wasn’t mine in his situation. 100% wrong to go do that and come home to your husband like it didn’t just happen. Get your husband and talk to each other. If you still think it is worth it then end it and move on before selfishly cheating!
Ding ding ding ! CHEATING!!
Swingers clubs don’t normally let you do it solo!
What you are doing- is hands down wrong!!
If you want to do this don’t be married
Umm yes clubs do. They have different pricing for single women, couples and single men. The single women get in cheapest to encourage more to come. But they dont condone not telling your partner. I know this as my parents own and run a swingers club in brisbane.
R U really this stupid or is this an early April fools prank
I think U already know the answer 😲
This is disgraceful! Your husband deserves better. Do you realise the damage this would do to him?!
So you want to cheat?
Either you talk to your partner and go together or you don't go at all.
If you really desire to go and your partner doesn't want to then you need to split.
Do swingers groups even take on singles? I thought the whole point was to swap PARTNERS!
They definitely do take single women in fact single women are so sought after they don't have to pay like couples do.
As someone who has just found out her husband has been doing similar for 13 years I can say that this will have untold damage on him. Finding something like this out and he eventually will will hurt him in such an intimate way that you could not possibly comprehend given you’re cruel enough to even consider doing this.
Regardless of your reason your husband, the father of your children DESERVES more than what you are willing to do to him.
First of all you need therapy.
You also need to decide if you even know what love is and if you can actually afford him the basic human decency of having the comfort of an honest marriage!
I’m not the OP but just want to say sorry for the hurt and pain ♥️ Hope you move on to be happy and gain who you were back again. With or without him just be kind to yourself and handle it day by day. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support be it closest friends/family or professional unbiased help.
Thank you.
I do it with my husband. We couple swap and meet others at swingers clubs. I'm against deciet all together so unless it was a couple it would be no dice on my end. Try opening up the conversation, I did and was scared and now we really enjoy it together.
absolutely not ok! that is cheating. plain and simple. if your husband does not know AND does not consent then it is cheating. and you will find most swingers would be appalled if they knew the truth. swingers tend to have very open, honest and trusting relationships with their partners, that's why what they do works. you need to sit with your partner and discuss your feelings and work out why you feel this way and come to a solution together, that you are both happy with. good luck!
Wow! People are very judgey!!
I agree that this is about trust and honesty. If you can’t tell him then you probably shouldn’t do it but talking about sexual wants and desires is a good thing to do and if you can do this with him openly and put this on the table as something you want to try solo and maybe there’s something he would like to try too. Would it bother you if he wanted to watch? Maybe you could offer that?
Why do you want to do it behind your husbands back? How about expressing your desires to him and seeing if it's something he would be interested in exploring together? If you want to have sex with other men only fair he knows about it.
Soooooo you want to cheat on your husband?
Just leave him. Simple as that. You want to screw others without your husband being involved or him agreeing to you going, just leave.
Imagine the hurt he would feel if he found out. What an absolutely horrible thing to do to the father of your children and the man you've chosen to spend your life with.
Now don't get me wrong I'm all for having fun. My husband and I actually researched swingers clubs. But we had a rule as soon as one of us said "no" we were done. One of us said "no", so we didn't go ahead with it. Have respect for your relationship.