Hey sisters bare with me please
I've been in a mental abuse relationship for 15 years and he won't change. He even said recently what the f*** do I even do? We have kids and I do everything. I think next year I see us moving to my parents. My question is has any mums done this before? I have so many worries like what would the sleeping arrangements be, will my kids resent me, when should they sleep back at their house. I'm just so mentally exhausted 😩
8 Replies
Don’t wait until next year. Go now! Your kids will adjust and you need to be open with them and get out now. You are lucky you have somewhere to go. Don’t worry about sleeping arrangements, cross that path when you come to it. You do what you need to do, to get out of the shit situation that you are your kids are in. Be free him of him now. Don’t let obstacles stop you, else you will never go. Once you go, you won’t look back! You wait until you have time with the kids and let them decide what is best and when they want to go and stay there. If not start with small day visits but you stay right out of it. Don’t let him talk you into coming back.
Have you listened to what's making him frustrated? By the way you've written it, it sounds like you've been at home for a long time so Im guessing by the sound of what he says he's sick of you staying home and not working? Sometimes to see the change in others you have to be willing to come to the table and change yourself as well.
I never say this, but this terrible advise to a person who is in an abusive relationship. Talk about kicking her when she is down.
No, if he is abusing her, no amount of hoops she jumps through will change that, because he will just move the hoop!
Does she need to change herself? YES but that change needs to be leaving him.
Everyone has different ideas of what an emotional abusive relationship is and if the worst that's happened is him saying "what do you do all fucking day" then sorry that's not that bad, that could be coming from 15 years of frustration with the other not pulling their weight. Not saying that's the case but if she really was in an abusive relationship for 15 years, him saying that would be water off a ducks back to her as she would have heard it all and worse before. I have spent 10 years in an abusive relationship myself.
Just because she didn’t list all the ways he emotionally abuses her doesn’t mean there isn’t abuse.
She just realised he is never going to change.
She said it's emotional abuse. YoU should believe her, or at least question her for further understanding for you, before you start telling her she's wrong and probably at fault and probably needs to try harder and do better.
What the!!! If I was home raising our kids and he had a problem with this, he be gone in a flash. What stupid advice
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and to reach out and say you aren't alone, I'm in a similar situation to you and have read some of the beautiful advice on the Facebook thread.
Goodluck and much love to you and your kids, I hope everything works out for you