I just need to get this off my chest, and I can't talk to anyone about it yet.
So my partner of 17years wants a divorce. He has decided 'he can't love someone he's not attracted to, and you're not that attractive to me'.
He kept at me last year about some weight I'd gained (10kgs) over the years. I was 60kg when I met him and eventually went up to 70kg. I dropped back to 50kg, then he started telling me all the ways I 'look disgusting'. He knows I'm not into plastic surgery and never, ever have been (no judgement to those that have). And he knew this since day 1. But, after 17 years, 5 pregnancies, 3 c-sections, 2 miscarriages and a life saving blood transfusion, this apparently means nothing to him and I am too ugly to love.
Marriage break down
Marriage break down
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
8 Replies
Straight back at him!! OMG You are so much better off without him. This is on him. His own self-loathing being projected onto you. See your GP for a mental health plan for yourself, go and unload the 17 years off your chest and start a new better chapter with just you and your 3 beautiful kids. Totally his loss. Mumma you are beautiful, successful, courageous and caring. If he's not in your corner, then he's not worth fighting for. You've got this!
As much as you’ve carried his children and it’s your body that went through all of the changes, he doesn’t owe it to you to be attracted to you still or love your new body.
I certainly don’t love my body after having kids and I absolutely don’t expect my husband to be attracted to it either. If he were to leave me over it, it would hurt but I would also understand.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. I hope you can find peace and love for your body. The last person in the world who should body-shame you is yourself, and the second last person is your partner.
That's so sad... And why would you marry someone so shallow?
Ok so I'm assuming you're married to Brad Pitt, because most middle aged men that I see have absolutely no business body shaming anyone.
I'm sorry that you married someone who turned out to be a fucking asshole. This is a HIM problem, not a YOU problem.
And very soon, you'll be laughing your arse off when Mr Midlife Crisis starts to find out that all the hot young women in their 20s & 30s that he thinks he can pull actually think he's just old & gross & creepy.
In two years, you will be so absolutely happy that this happened. It'll take that long to get through the grief, shame, resentment, divorce, property settlement etc.
Lean heavily on your friends & family.
You will come out out of this far stronger and better and healthier than if you continued to live with this emotionally abusive piece of shit.
Thank him for releasing you. What an absolute pig.
You're better off loosing the 100kg (him.) He sounds toxic.
This isn’t a breakdown this is a blessing. He is not a man you want to be with. I have also been with my husband for 17 years. In the time we have been together I have put on 30+kg. I’m not sure if he notices, but he sure as hell has ever mentioned that.
We have had troubles over the years but my appearance has and never will be his business!! I get my hair done for me, I shave my body for me.
Step away from this toxic marriage, get some counseling and understand that this is a him problem not a you problem and you’re prefect the way you are.