sistas!
I’m needing help changing our very stressful nighttime routine. We have a 2 and 6 year old and from dinner onwards is a highly stressful time. They fight constantly and seem hyper after bath time. None of them have ever been good sleepers. It usually takes me 1-1.5 hours of laying with them to get them to sleep and this is after yelling every step of the way from dinner to bath and bed. 6 year old I can usually threaten with the iPad but the two year old doesn’t care about anything 😂 so I have no bargaining power. Any ideas?
Stressful night time
Stressful night time
Posted in:
Kids
4 Replies
Well that doesn't sound like a calming night routine. Do it earlier. Dinner then bath and then PJs on and screens off. Read books. Dim the lights. Make a warm milk.
From a very young age (6 months) i have done dinner - bath - reading - cuddles - lights out, go to sleep.
It took. Few weeks but my children are now 9 and 11 and go to bed when i tell them.
The point here is get a good routine. Yelling and losing your mind is not conducive to sleep. The kids will be emotional because you are. You need to restart and calm down.
I would set up a chart and different alarms on your phone . One is a 5 min warning time that the next task is X. You need to keep a routines dinner same time, no tech after dinner and i found when they where little no TV either. then bath, dressed, teeth, reading, the lights out. the key is consistently doing this, then it becomes normal, my kids got to the point they heard the timer go off and would take themselves to the bathroom, and get started. you must also stick to it, keep repeating its bed time, see you tomorrow, the first 4 nights will be painful and if the kids rule the roost it will be loud and stressful. you must show calm and control and every adult in thr house must agree on the plan. a 6 yr old should be in bed around 7. Good luck
Routine and being persistent. stick to it.
My son is 17 months.
Monday, Wednesday and Friday I have work and he has daycare so our routine is quite different. He has dinner at daycare. I pick him up about 1815, give him a shower, massage & pjs, read a book, bottle and bed by 1915.
The other days where he does not have daycare. He has dinner at 1630. Shower at 1715. Most the time I have a shower with him and we play with his bath toys. This is a great bonding for us both. 1715 out the shower, Pat him dry and give him a massage, get into PJs. Then we do calming activities; both chill out on the couch where he selects a few books to read. He babbles and chats away, we look out the window and point at things whilst I tell him what they are. By 1830 he is keen for bed. I lay down with him, put soft classical music on, he drinks his bottle and is off to sleep…I then put his sound machine on and sneak out 😃
A few changes that have helped me along the way towards a better bedtime routine with both my boys;
- Naps; late naps are the worst and interfere with bedtime routines. My son has one long nap between 11-3pm for 2-3 hrs usually. Finishing no later than 3pm bedtime isn’t fluffy. Make sure you rest with them if possibly.
- Technology; limit use and or better yet remove it entirely until it becomes a luxury. 1 hr only between x-x. Turn everything off by 3pm. Get them involved with helping you prepare dinner or folding the washing. No negotiation.
- Rewards Chart; Encourage the eldest to be more responsible. That way you are able to give a little more attention to the youngest. Get the oldest to follow a scheduled chart with pictures. And reward with stars. X amount of stars = going to the park at the end of the week? 😃
- Bring dinner forward.
- Shower/bath straight afterwards. Let them play, splash, play around, add in lavender to their bath, this will make them relaxed and tired.
- Get them both dressed. Try massaging the 2 year old. Might help.
- do some calming activities with them both; read a book, converse with them both about the day and ask (6) what was the best thing they enjoyed today… so on. Play eye spy. Sing songs, dancing might help.
- Put (2) down with something they enjoys that’s not going to keep em buzzing. And say your good nights to (6), give cuddles and appreciation for ones efforts today.
- Then focus on getting (2) settled and into bed. Like above, I use soft calm music, dim the lights, give my boys a bottle and we cuddle (hold hands). He’s dead asleep by 30 mins.
- If (2) has no intentions sleeping. Don’t force it. Keep (2) awake but can only do quiet and calm activities. (2) will eventually go to sleep.
- If you feel you’re getting frustrated. Remove yourself and let them carry on for a few mins until you’ve caught your breath and try again.
With my first. I lay down with him 1-2 hours. This time round I don’t do that and just allow him to be awake. He’s usually keen within 30 mins lol
All the best mumma. I hope what I’ve put forward may help in some way.