Hi
My partner and I have been together 7 years we fell pregnant not long after we met. We’ve never had time for ourselves, plus I had one child to a previous relationship. Is there such a thing as the 7 year itch? We both work full time shift work, we work in the same field of employment just different locations. We are always so busy sex is next to nothing, trust me I’d love to do it every night but are kids are horrible sleepers barely can keep them in there own beds every night, we are rarely home together crossing paths due to haven’t no one to watch kids so having to work different days to accomodate. Don’t get me wrong this man treats me like a queen, but I’m just craving him and miss us. I’ve recently started talking to someone about it at my
Work who is a male but I feel so guilty like I’m doing something wrong by him, this male friend is married. I love my partner but I’ve tired telling him how I feel but he just turns it’s into a joke. Like I’m made to feel my wants and needs are unrealistic
Please help x
7 year itch
7 year itch
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
7 Replies
You should feel guilty. You are talking to another man in the hopes he will want you. You should be talking to someone you have no sexual desire towards. If you’re feeling guilty, then you’re doing the wrong thing. If you EVER have to think “would my partner be upset by this” then you’re doing the wrong thing.
Re-evaluate your life with your partner, change jobs, hire a nanny, use after school care services, organise a sleep over with friends and take your partner on a date. See a couples counseller. Do anything to save your relationship because right now you’re choosing the “safe path” of “if my relationship dies, i have this man i’m talking to” you’re creating a safety net and it’s disgusting.
My dear friend went through similar situation... she was talking to this bloke at work about her issues with her husband. He was the all too eager listening ear. The consoling voice. He would never treat someone like. If he was her husband he'd shower her in affection....
But at home, he had a wife and two little girls. So what he was doing was worse. He was beginning an emotional affair, with the intentions of it going further. It unravelled pretty quickly for my friend, when one of her colleagues gave her a bit of a shaking up. She spoke to her husband. He was devastating she'd developed this crush, but they started working on their relationship. They needed to rekindle their connection.
You and you husband need a break together. Time for you to both take some time off work and go away together.
Just bluntly, looks like you're seeking validation to fuck another man. Deep down, look at yourself !
Ok so I have a married male friend at work that I talk to about all kinds of things, including my relationship issues, and there's never been the slightest hint of anything inappropriate. Just because they're opposite genders, doesn't mean something seedy has to be going on. He's great for giving a male perspective, and he'll straight up tell me if I'm being the problem (which my girlfriends rarely do).
I think you should book a holiday on a cruise or an all inclusive resort that has childminding, and use that time to reconnect with your husband. Even if it's just for a few days. See if the spark is still there or not, and be able to have the time to discuss the problems and look for solutions to implement at home.
Who cares if it's a wandering eye at 2, 7 or 25 years? It's still wrong.
Ship the kids off for a day or two and make the time. Your relationship needs to be a priority because kids grow up and leave and retirement comes and if you don’t have a solid foundation within your relationship what will you have?
Talking to a male about your issues isn’t so much of a problem in itself but if you are starting to feel more then it’s time to step back and talk to a friend or family members. Or write it all down and give it to the man who needs to hear it
Yeah totally 7 year itch is a thing! Relationships have ups and downs, but my way of thinking is that if I ended my marriage and found someone else I would have the same issues. Often we compare to what's around us, other relationships, social media and movies make relationships appear to be all rainbows and sunshine, but no relationships are. I think the best feeling in the world is going through a hard time, working hard at your relationship and coming out the other side even stronger!
I think the fact that you feel guilty about talking to a male colleague about your partner probably is a good indication that's its not the right thing to do. I can almost guarantee that your workmates wife has lots of complaints about her husband as well. He may sympathize with you and tell you that you deserve more ect ect. But I bet he puts back empty containers in the fridge and leaves dirty socks lying around and never buys his wife flowers. Talk to someone who is going to help your relationship, not ruin it.
Good luck x