Hi all,
I have a sibling I have had a bad relationship with for the last two years. We haven’t spoken and only seen each other once. We had a falling out over something so insignificant. All my life I feel I’ve had anxiety around this one sibling. I feel they have always judged me over everything I do. I don’t recall many good times with them. All I remember are the hard times and the bullying they put me through and how they made me feel. Regardless I had always been very helpful with this siblings children helping out with baby sitting etc. I always showed a general interest in what their children were into and their achievements. I have never really received any of this in return nor any regular interest in my children and it really hurts my feeling. Recently they contacted me to say they want to move on so we can spend holidays together etc. I replied saying yes that would be nice etc. I have been noticing on social media this sibling never reacts to any of my photos of my children but always responds and likes our other siblings photos. Out of my three children they have only really ever seen or taken an interest in one of them the other two they haven’t really put any effort into, one of my children doesn’t even know they have cousins. I don’t know what it is but it really annoys me. I don’t know what I’m asking, just venting I guess but I just feel really hurt over this.
5 Replies
My eldest sister is like this. She hated me since I was born and the earliest memory I have is of her beating me up, I must have been 2 or 3. She was jealous and I guess that kind of followed her right through to adulthood, we never got along. She would always give our other sisters kids presents and show an interest in their lives but she could only see how horrible my kids were and they couldn't do anything without getting told off by her. I don't have much to do with her. This is an issue she has, it's not mine. It sounds like it's the same for you. Honestly there is no point keeping a relationship going if they are only there to continue to treat you like a piece of crap.
Just ignore her and keep posting happy photos of you with your kids.some People don’t like seeing others happy so don’t let her get to you. Show her how happy you are.
My brother and I are great mates, neither of us have much to do with our younger sister because she's just not a great person and she's unbearable to be around.
You're not obligated to put up with shit behaviour from someone just because they're a blood relative.
Keep doing your thing and don't worry about your sibling, usually this kind of vindictive behaviour stems from that person's inner demons. It's easier for them to convince themselves that someone like you has wronged them because it's a convenient excuse to be a raging asshole.
The only part of this post that doesn't concern me is her not liking your photos. She may have unfollowed you when you got in a fight so your posts just don't show in her newsfeed. I unfollowed both my sister's without having a fight when my eldest was 1 because they would share posts that triggered my PND and anxiety. Alternatively, she may have just felt uncomfortable reacting to posts when you weren't talking.
Everything else sounds like she is not the sibling you want. By all means, move forward. But do it for you and for your relationship with your nieces/nephews. Hopefully, you'll get your happy family, but just have some thick skin while you test the waters so you don't get hurt again
My SIL is similar, year after year I put up with her jealousy, she lied to that side of the family and they wont speak to me.
Now she is fine she wants to be friends. Too bad so sad.
Best thing I did was cut everyone off social media.
Only family who interact with us are connected.
Our kids are about to go into high school and their own grandmother has seen our youngest a handful of times.
We are so much better off without them