Hi all
I left my husband in may after being together for 7 years due to finding out he had been cheating on me.
I've spent this time focusing on myself and the kids. I have met someone who has been nothing but amazing but I've also made it clear I'm not looking for anything serious as I've just come out of a long term relationship and emotional trauma/trust issues.
I believe if anything were to progress it will happen so no point rushing but I want to hear from you mummas when did you all start dating after coming out of a long term relationship?
14 Replies
I don't really think there's a defining amount of time here, it's really quite individual.
I will say though, your children also need to be ready for you to start dating again or at least be ready for the introduction of your romantic interests. You've just come out of a long term relationship but they've just gone through the separation of their parents - thats two very different experiences.
I waited 3 years. I am SO glad I waited because it gave me time to love myself first and I was so ready for a new relationship. Most people I know who go into a new relationship quickly end up separating a few years later.
Dating in private is one thing. But please give your kids plenty of time before bringing a new man around your kids.
They need time to settle in
It’s been 3 months….
I mean, if you're seeing this guy casually then I'd say it's fine.
But if like you say it progresses into something more serious, I think it's too soon, more so for your kids if anything!
I say that as a kid whose dad was seeing someone new before his side of the bed was cold...
Go and have some no strings attached fun! But IMO it's too soon for a proper relationship. Give yourself time to heal.
It’s way too soon especially for your kids.
Beware, some predators swoop in to ‘save you’ after a break up and once they’ve got you locked in things turn.
Have a fling, but please don’t involve your kids.
I waited 5 years for a serious relationship. I did have casual relationships in that time but they were far from serious and my kids knew nothing about it. Personally I think 4 months is way too soon for a serious relationship. You can't have been with him very long at all. Use as much time as you need to establish yourself as a single person and a single parent, this will give you the best start when you do get into a serious relationship.
Trust me, allow yourself to be wholly single for a long while. 7 years is a long time,
take a breather
Focus on the kids.
It’s also very empowering, you will learn you don’t need to always be in a relationship and you don’t need a man to be complete you.
When you honestly think you can cope with it healthily. It's not so much how soon versus how slow and carefully you go, that needs to be paced no matter how hard you've fallen.
Whatever you do please don’t involve your children in new relationships so soon.
Anytime you feel is right. Don’t waste time! If it’s right then go for it. Don’t feel guilty. Enjoy the life that you deserve
Your kids only get one childhood too, what do they deserve?
Urghhh can’t stand parents that put their own needs above those of their kids.
I met my husband 2 months after my relationship ended my previous relationship in my mind was over in 2009 although I d given up as I wasn't in love or emotionally invested any more, I stayed till 2011 for the kids.