Hey there Everybody. I have been reading about everybody's questions and issues for a while now and I love how supportive this group is. This page is a real eye opener as to what other people have to go through in their lives and as much as as I think it is a great thing to be able to help others I want to hear of some positive relationship stories so people who are struggling can know that what they are going through isn't necessarily normal and there are nice men and women out there.
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The thing is, all relationships have ups, downs, curve balls, inbetweens etc.
I remind myself constantly that there's always three sides to stories, my side, your side and the truth. To be clear, I am not dismissing those victims or trying to invalidate people's feelings, however we only hear one side of the story about how toxic a person is, but we don't hear how toxic they too can be or what they do to contribute to said behaviours.
After being in 2 abusive relationships starting at 14 and ending at 31 I had zero trust in men. I had seen them go from psycho to nice guy as quick as a phone call or a knock on the door so whenever I met a "nice guy" I assumed it was all a show. I stayed single for 6 years and was planning on being that way forever. Then I met my now partner, we have been together 7 years and I am still waiting for him to lose his shit with me. It hasn't happened. He is what I dreamed of when I was younger, I just wanted to be treated with respect, not be called every name under the sun just because of a bad mood or something didn't go right that day. I just wanted to live a peaceful life without worrying about being threatened, thrown into walls, hair pulled. There are good men out there! You do have to give relationships time though to really get past the loved up stage. I really don't like seeing the posts here from women who have children and are moving on way too fast in a new relationship, you don't really know someone until you have seen what their true colours are. For that, you need to see how they handle their anger, you need to see how they respond to you having male friends or socialising with people other than him, you also need to see how they handle your children at their worst and how they handle you having close relationships with family members or friends. Everyone can put on an act for the first 6 months for all of these situations so you really need to give it all time.