I have been with my partner 14 years. We have 2 kids together. I have fallen out of love with him. We have grown to have different values and I am at the point I don't want to try falling back in love.
Problem is I suck at verbalising this. I care more about hurting him and "breaking up our family" than I do about my own wants and needs. I literally can not talk about it. I know it would be hurting him to stay in the relationship without love but I just can't bring myself to say the words.
It's not just for me, but I need to show my kids that there is better. He regularly swears at the kids (7 and 2), has called the oldest a c***, has said about the people stuck in Afghanistan "if you can't beat them, join them (taliban)", does minimal house work even tho he works part time and I'm full time, he can't take no for an answer (he forces the kids to hug him, makes us try things even if we don't want to).
Despite all this I can't say I want to split. WTF is wrong with me???
I have very little, to no support. I also want to stay as amicable as possible and hope to be able to co-parent.
2 Replies
You are so awesome and brave to have faced your feelings and got to this point! I would contact relationships Australia or a similar organisation and explain exactly what you have here.
They offer counselling and support services. Also seeing your doctor is always a good way to get advice on who to contact for support and help - a mental health plan will get you cheaper counselling too. Not saying you have mental health issues but it can be a huge help to talk to a professional about ways to talk about this with your partner and how to negotiate the future xx please stay strong and remember this is what’s best for you and those precious children.
I'm not sure if any will read this. I have read the comments on the FB post.
I have told him I don't know if I still love him - it has just made him become affectionate towards me. I can't stand him touching me.
When I say he can't accept no, that includes sex.
When he swears at the kids (both boys, no daughters) I pull him up straight away. He just tells me I'm turning the kids into sooks- they are both "mummys boys". I'm so fucking broken 😭