My partner and I have been together for 16years. My partner has never trusted me and told me several times that he doesn't. It's got so bad that I dont have any friends and dont really talk to my family because he doesn't like them. He will go out and not come home till the next day but she's to think that it's fine.
When he gets home from work he will just sit on his phone out the back. We hardly talk anymore and if we do it will only be for a second. Last night he got drunk and was telling me he doesn't love me and that our kids hate me. And saying all this mean stuff. This morning I woke to his alarm and woke him up for him to tell me to f#@$ off and grow up and that I should cook breakfast lunch and dinner. I do everything around the house but he still will say I'm lazy. I can't talk to him about how I feel I've tried to do this our whole relationship. He will just laugh at me and say stop it your being silly. I don't know how I can leave him with our kids. I don't have family in my state. And if he leaves he will then quite working. Please 🙏 give me some advice.
3 Replies
Get in contact with your local police station and ask to speak to a DV officer. They will help you with services available in your area to get you and your kids out. They won't get physically involved (unless things turn ugly) they will just help you out of there without him even knowing they are helping. He has cut you off from all your networks and is gaslighting you, he is being abusive.
What you are describing is very much family violence sounds like he's isolated you and is also subjecting you to emotional abuse. You can get in touch with a family violence service and they will provide you with support and also education on what constitutes family violence.
Start simple, go and talk to your doctor, they will give you the best contacts to get you in the right direction. They will care more than the police too.
He may also need help, he may not understand why he is like that (grief, depression, mental health issues).
You need to think with your head, not your heart right now.
Everything has an expiry date, it’s time you worked out whether to invest in a recovery plan, or a rescue mission,
Good luck xx