Hi.
Please bear with me while I try to explain.
So split from kids dad 2016 kids were 4months, 2 and 3years. Younger two this didn't effect still doesn't effect as much as the older one. Kids are now 4, 6 and 8years. When first split dad saw kids once during the week and every second weekend.
Wouldn't have them when they were sick even on his days so long story short my family in NSW, got permission from kids dad to move interstate, kids dad can visit whenever, we visit his home town when we can and he has them all school holidays every holidays.
All going well and still going well.
8year old has always struggled a tiny bit here and there with the split and the holidays and leaving etc. Always a daddy's girl.
8year as late has been struggling lots and lots, seeing a physiologist, at the beginning for her sleep, on melotine etc. Now seeing the physiologist for her behaviour, as late I get told I don't love her, dad loves her, at least dad loves me, I'm living with dad.
So a few questions,
* can anyone give me any insight in to whether you have let your child pack up with one parent and move in with the other? (He lives with his mum, dad, sister her husband and their 3 kids) (I live here with myself and the 3 kids)
*or do I just leave her here with me and continue with visits and the physiologist (in one session her father was bought up a lot and how she misses him and wants to love with him)
* and a remark of wanting to sometimes kill herself was made to her cousin during a facetime- where do I go with that? As its the first time I have learnt of this.
Sorry If it's confusing and doesn't make sense.
Thank you for any help.
2 Replies
You look after her. She's a kid it's how they express themselves. They don't make the rules. And also, he doesn't want them. He wouldn't care for them full time. He doesn't care for them part time. But that's what you'd need to work towards, why on earth would you give up your own child because he did.
But, what this child actually needs is psychology. She needs help and support, she needs your love and consistency, and she needs to know you've got this. She's secure. You're going nowhere. Rules are set and her dad might change how much he sees his kids, and that's wrong, but you will never go anywhere.
Kids feel anxious when they don't know who's in control, or it seems nobody is, or they are. They get anxious about big changes, short notice, instability etc.
They fill the blank space of a missing parent with wonderful made up things, so he's a superhero. They take for granted the person that tucks them into a warm bed every night in clean PJs with a full tummy. They're too little to see the big picture. That's our job. Dont take her words to heart. Just take them as a message that she's hurting.
Don’t send her to live with him. Instead spend one on one time with her , do special things with just her. Create things to bond with her and show her how much you love her. Tell her psychologist everything. Don’t let her go. You will regret it later , she won’t forget it.