So I have been with my bf for about 11 years now. We started dating when I was 15. He is 5 years older then me and we now have 3 kids together. We have had a lot of ups and downs. His cheated on me a few times, does not and has not ever put in for any bills, food ect, he has a drinking problem and has no job but on the other hand he has also been there for me through a lot over the years.
I usually work about 60 hours a week and Ive made a good friend at work. His very nice and caring towards me and has recently asked me to be friends with benefits (he knows I have a bf) if I didn’t have a bf I would have jumped at that idea straight away but I’ve been saying no to him although in my head I really want to! I’ve never even had a second thought about cheating on my bf but now I am really thinking about it and I don’t know why? Its driving me crazy and the sexual tension when we are around each other is crazy! I’ve tried swapping shifts so we don’t have to work together but there’s only so many times I can do that but I also don’t want to loose him as a friend. I really don’t know what to do?
10 Replies
Babe - Friends like this you can do without. A friend doesn't put another friend in this position, especially not at work of all places!
He knows you have a partner but he still chose to proposition you, I'd be pretty willing to bet he can sense your vulnerability and is taking full advantage of it!
Secondly, your partner is dead weight. He cheats on you, he's an alcoholic, he contributes nothing financially and I'm guessing it wouldn't be much of a stretch to say he does little in the way of parenting either.
You're young - you deserve so much better than both of these douche canoes.
Firstly I’d be telling my boyfriend to leave… No job? Not contributing? Drinking problem? Cheating? All while you work 60 hours a week to support him? I’d be pissed beyond return. I’d not be wasting another day supporting anyone but my own child. Everyone should be required to support themselves in my opinion. As for the other bloke I’d not be in the slightest bit interested. He wouldn’t be the person for me if he would so willingly sleep with a taken woman. Until you have dealt with the relationship breakdown take the time alone… figure stuff out and set the bar higher for the men you choose.
Leave your horrible bf and then do what you want. Don’t scoop to his level.
What sort of creep 20 year old goes out with a 15 year old? One that has clearly ended up a complete drop kick. Friend sounds like one too. Leave your partner, be single for a while and work out why you have put up with such poor behaviour. Not judging, I’m still trying to unpack why I did!
Maaaaannnnn your current boyfriend sounds like a dumpster fire.
What 20 year old wants to date a 15 year old? What did you have in common?
But seriously, no job, no prospects, and contributes nothing? Time to go. You deserve better and someone that supports you.
Just imagine, if you have a good supportive job, and you found another partner who works to support the family too. You'll feel a lot more comfortable rather than having to support your children along with a man child.
Time to break up with your BF. You can do better and you know it. Don’t cheat, just start fresh. You can do it.
If I had a boyfriend like yours I’d kick him to the kerb and start something with this guy! He doesn’t contribute has cheated on you what exactly does he bring to the table? Move on you can do way better.
Wanting to be FWB knowing you have bf and kids shows his lack of care and respect for you. He wants what he thinks he can’t have. And you want to see if the grass is greener. And I get it you been with one man since you were a child. But Once you cross over the dark side he’ll move on to other FWB. If the idea of cheating is there. Get out of relationship now so then no one gets hurt and go be FWB with whom ever you like. Good luck
Personally, i think you need to dump the low life boyfriend. You're young and you have missed out on having fun, being young and enjoying yourself.
I don't think its cool the guy at work propositioned you when he knows you are in a relationship.
I reckon break up with the boyfriend, get on your own two feet and explore what being young is all about. Enjoy yourself.
It sounds like you're in a shitty relationship. Dump the selfish dickhead, then you don't have to worry about being labelled a cheater.. 🤷♀️