Just looking for some advice.
I’ve been with my husband since I was 15. He is 10 years older than me. In this time, we have had 6 children (our first was born when I was 16). I’ve realised that I don’t love him and I don’t find him attractive either. He has been verbally and emotionally abusive during the whole time we have been together. My adult children have made me realise that he took advantage of my youth and I’m so angry about it.
I have been distancing myself from him and I absolutely refuse to have s*x with him. (I get called some vulgar names for refusing him). I’ve been looking up how to separate and then divorce him. My main problem is that how will I afford to live on my own and I do care that he will have nowhere to go and will struggle with living costs as well. I’m extremely nervous about talking to him about how I feel and what I want to happen. Any advice will be gratefully appreciated.
Separation/divorce
Separation/divorce
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
He's rapist.
I agree with your children that he took advantage of your youth. He was 25 at the time.
Can you start a seperate savings account and put a little bit aside each week so when the time comes of living on your own you will have a little bit saved already ?
Maybe because youve beenw ith him since you were a child, youre going to need help splitting from him. You could go to a womens centre.
Because hes a grownup, he can look after himself, finding a place to live and supporting ourselves is what we all do. You cant see it because maybe you havent done it or maybe hes fed it to you that any alternative is impossible. Its not.
Look at all of us single mums. Its simple, and the govt supports you to do it (having a job will lift your lifestyle) but youll get more support than youre thinking, you just need someones help to tell you everything you dont know.
You were groomed
You've been with this man since you were a child. You will have some very strong habits formed - like still worrying about how he will survive. Not your problem. He's an adult. I would suggest seeing your GP for a referral to a counselor, so you can get your own mind straight first and make a plan. Visiting your local women's centre (google them) and chat to some like-minded ladies who've seen it all before. They will help with strategies for you to leave safely. There are lots of people and services willing to help you. Don't be afraid to ask. Best of luck. You've got this mumma!
I left my husband 6 years ago after emotional abuse. I had the same thoughts as you, just know You can do this! You will be ok x stay strong and believe in yourself.
It is super hard, but the end result will be so much better
I have since brought 2 homes, moved and got a promotion. Life can be so much better xxx