How do I handle my sister getting back with her awful boyfriend for the millionth time but now he’s apparently a changed man, had counselling and they’re both supposedly very happy. How do I forget all the awful things he did and said to her. He would never go to family do’s in the past but now they’re putting on a united front and he’s going to be by her side. How do people move on from this and look him in the eye?!
5 Replies
Just because she forgives him, doesnt mean you have to. Apologising should be part of his 'new me' routine. You should be allowed to call him out on it, or are they just starting fresh and nobody is to remember what he did? They like to do that, youre the asshole for bringing it up.
Just treat him how you think is right and dont play into his games.
You shut your mouth or you lose your sister. You don't have to forgive & forget, but you do have to fake a smile & be polite.
And pick up the pieces again next time.....
I have seen plenty of people cut off their friends and family because they chose their bad man instead.
I have cut off friends in the past for this exact situation. I simply couldn't deal with the ongoing drama.
People have to learn their own lessons, and sometimes it takes 1000 times before they learn it.
It's probably a whole lot harder to watch when it's your sister though.
My brother and his POS ex girlfriend did this shitty little dance for a while (thank God he eventually found his beautiful fiancé).
They'd break up, we'd all slag her off, tell him how much we didn't like her and how much better off he was without her - 5 minutes later they were back together, madly in love and we were all the assholes.
So my advice, just be cordial. Treat him like that co-worker you just can't fucking stand but you have to get along with for the sake of the peace.
You don't have to fake the pleasantries, be overly friendly or welcome him with open arms, just exhibit a basic level of respect when you have to be in his presence (such as at a family event).
You don't handle it, you just have to accept it, or she will cut you off and thst will only out her I'm danger. Man like this like to isolate their partners so they have no one. if you push, you will lose her. Just be there and hope she wakes up to herself
Thank you all for your feedback x