I feel like I already know wheat you’re going to say but I’m going to ask anyway...
So, my partner and I are a blended family with three kids (nil together). Very happy, kids loves us all, we all love them, very much in love... blah blah
Anyway, we moved in together a few months ago and I was cleaning out a draw and I found a pile of letters from someone I’d never heard about. Very intense letters (yes I read them, so sue me). Anyway, obviously the fact that he has this relationship before we met isn’t the issue, but the lie and subsequent lies are.
Decided to move on, told him not to lie, blah blah.
Anyway, I recently found out her has logged into a dating app (search history). I’ve confronted him about it. There’s been tears, he claims he doesn’t know why blah blah.
If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d be gone. But again, I’ve made the choice to try and trust him and work through it.
I guess, what I’m asking is- has anyone been through this? What was the outcome? I know I should just turn and run but the truth is he makes me and the kids so fkn happy.
Boo, men!
10 Replies
Doesn't sound like he's making you happy. And this is your honeymoon phase. Boo for not realising your worth, not boo men.
How long had you been together before you moved in?
He is lying to you and you are choosing not to see what is happening here. Take away the kids for a minute and ask if you’d still be there? Forgot the kids in this for now because it’s you who will suffer first then them in the long run. Do you think he may find it easier because of your kids.? Makes life easier for him having you all there.? If he was so happy he would be on the dating app. He isn’t doing this for nothing. Not many men keep letters either. He sounds a little hung up on her.
Stop confronting him and pretend you have forgotten and do some more research. Sounds like he is waiting to see if it works with her. Be careful I think he is going to crush your heart and your kids.
They always cry when guilty or something. My ex did this. He was def cheating. I ignored his tears! Don’t fool for it.
Yes. Staying for the kids is the wrong mindset. Youre just prolonging it amd setting a bad example. Show fhem that its ok to make choices and leave bad relationships.
Also liars lie. You cant tell him not to. What kind of adult needs to be told that? When its all over eventually youll feel really angry at yourself for overlooking these things and being so stupid, and wasting your time with a joke.
Youre writing into a forum about him, he doesnt make you happy he makes you all this.
He’s already looking at dating apps after a few months of living together. What does that tell you? It would tell me he’s not committed and it will all end in heartache. Save your kids from the heartache.
If he isn't making you happy, you need to leave.
However, are you open to something like an open relationship? Him see/talk to others, as do you? It sounds like he is tending to stray so if you want it to work, stop letting yourself get hurt and try an open relationship?
Walk, the kids will suffer more being in a trust less unfaithful family then you not being there