Im lost I dont know what to do atm. My partner and I have been together for 3 yrs and have 1 child together and I have 2 to my ex, my partner use to be great he would help out around the house, talk and play with my older 2 and have time for us all however, since our son was born he has gradually been withdrawing and has now decided he hates kids. He spend all his time at work and in the mancave ( anything to get away), he has withdrawn from me almost completely, we don't go anywhere or do anything anymore and I feel he has fallen out of love with me. We are both unhappy, depressed and lost. He got caught up in an emotional affair last yr and openly admitted and told me but it brought up alot of issues in our relationship. He has admitted that my weight is an issue but he wont help or support me get ontrack. He wants me to work but My eldest is autistic and requires alot of therapies and alot of time. He wont help at all anymore he wont even take his dishes to the sink anymore I am basicly a single parent so I dont have time to work. House and kids is my responsibility at least 5 to 6 hrs of my day is driving around for kids appointments (my ex isn't around either) we barely have sex anymore and if we do it's boring. Part of me feels like it's already over but the other part of me thinks we can save this with work. I really don't know what to do. I don't have friends, my family isn't close. We have spoken about our problems but his solutions were him getting a second house and visiting on weekends and a second wife which is no where near an option or a solution (I will add we are not religious so a second wife was a random suggestion).
We were both married before and I divorced but he never did (we met after our marriages were over not before) I have told him it makes me feel like a mistress and I feel like im a temporary situatation knowing he is still married and wont get a divorce am I wrong to feel this? She is completely out of the picture and in a different country but I cant help shake the feeling.
Im so lost I dont know what to do.
To stay or leave
To stay or leave
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
5 Replies
Leave. Hes putting in nothing. You can be so much happier than this, and you deserve to be.
Make preparations and plans to set yourself up as a single person. He’s already told you his heart isn’t in this relationship. Doesn’t mean you need to leave tomorrow. But definitely start planning!
It sounds like he's left the relationship emotionally, but you could suggest relationship counselling and see what he says. It could also be a good idea for you to get some counselling yourself to work out what you want and where to from here.
It sounds like he’s barely hanging on and doesn’t particularly want to be there. It very much sounds to me like he wants to be with other people - hence the affair and the suggestion about a second wife. I would try relationship counselling and if that doesn’t work I would move on. That sounds like a miserable existence for both of you. It sounds like he’s giving you absolutely nothing. No wonder you’re depressed.
So selfish of him to be still in a marriage with his first wife which means she can never move on with her life. Yet he is married to you and suggested getting another wife, yes it’s allowed in Islam but for variety of reasons not because he can’t handle being a father . And to think you will still be a single parent during the week sigh 😔