Hi I just want to get some information regarding a tip off.
So I made a report to crime stoppers and child services regarding suspected child abuse. I have good reasons but not definite as I guess with anything like this, it’s hard to prove.
I just want to know if anyone knows what steps they take after a report and are all members of the family made aware of such a report.
I am asking because the person whom I reported has been quite different towards me and barely speaks to me now. Prior to making this report we would speak for a good 3-4 hours a week.
I don’t know if it’s my conscience or if they have all been called in and interviewed or what steps happen after my report but something is def different with her. I also know that things I have reported, she will know they have come from me as she told me herself but was completely oblivious to what she was telling me. It raised alarm bells for me to what I had already been thinking for sometime.
I don’t mind that she doesn’t speak to me because I have done what I thought is right ti protect these young kids. I just worry about repercussions from those who they are involved with. I kept it anonymous but I know clues can give up my identity.
Any info from someone in that field of would be great to help ease my mind. Thanks
21 Replies
Yep she would know its you because they would have told her what was said , not who said it.
Two and two together she's worked out its you
Oh gosh I kind of thought so but she is very protective of her husband whom I suspect. it makes me feel sick like I have done the wrong thing but I know for these kids it’s the right thing.
Before she asks scatter into the convo that you've mentioned certain things to groups ie) playgroup, my tae kwon do parents group, work meeting, ie make it sound as though you connected with others that had the same issue. Then she cant be sure it was you.
The weirdest part is they don’t see any one I know. They are very religious and only do things with their religious group.such as their church session once a week. So if I was to ask her to go for lunch for example she wouldn’t because and she won’t say it, I am not religious. Their kids don’t do any sports or anything.There is no outside influence that would make these poor little kids fit in. They almost act like a cult. I am surprised they go to school.
** what I'm about to say isn't intended to piss anybody off or discriminate against anyone of faith so please don't come at me**
OP, did you mention in your statement that they are extremely religious, almost cult like and don't really have any real connection to the outside world with the exception of you?
So much child abuse happens and is covered up within religious organizations, I hate to say it but your report will probably be investigated more thoroughly with this information. So if you didnt include it initially, I'd get in contact with the relevant agency to add it.
I completely understand what You are saying. I did cover this in my report as he is also in charge of kids at this church. He is also a closet alcoholic.
Good to hear! Sounds like you covered all the bases in detail in your report.
Fingers crossed there's a good outcome for those children.
They would know the nature of the complaint. May not have all the details. She also may just be generally suspicious of everyone now and generally not as chatty to people to anyone that they used to talk to a lot.
They won’t have been told your name, obviously, but if the details of the allegation were specific it wouldn’t have been hard to guess.
It’s really hard because they really push me for specific details which I had to give else they can’t take it any further. I kept telling them I was worried with the info that she will know it’s me and it’s not what I want I just want these kids looked out for. I also worry that if the man is abusing his children then would they alert him to this. I had good reasons to think this then others whom I barely know started mentioning this man in conversations and how odd he is and the things they had been hearing coming from their home. it all makes me feel sick. Ok a positive note though I hope the kids are now being looked out for.
The worst part is I have a feeling she turns a blind eye to things when it comes to her husband. she is so oblivious in the things she tells me, that raise alarm bells to me. Even medical professionals have questioned a few things and she is still oblivious to her husband. She can’t be this stupid because she isn’t a stupid person. She is very switched into everything but when it comes to him, she is shut off and everything is perfect with him.
Oh, she knows. She's the worst kind 🤬 watch her act like the victim when it all comes to light
I know I feel so sick about it all. I know I have done the right thing. I just hate the fact that they could be told what has been reported then they can cover up.
I get what you're saying here.
When I was a teen, I witnessed a lot of abuse and negligence towards the children of the family friends I babysat for
I deeply wanted to but I was too scared of retribution (they were affiliated with very dangerous people) to report what I witnessed, like your situation, the specifics of what I saw would have ratted me out even if I made an anonymous report. I was also taught that you mind your business.
All these years later, I still regret not doing something about it. Those kids are all adults now with various traumas and psychological issues. One of them has even come forward with sexual abuse claims. What really gets me is the amount of adults (including friends, family, neighbors, teachers and doctors) who must have known something was up but they all kept tight lipped...
You have done the right thing! Your friend might suspect you but this may also be the reality check she needs in order to get out of this state of denial that it sounds like she's currently living in regarding her husband.
What happens now? I think you just have to trust the process. At the very least your report will be on file and that does help build a case.
Oh wow that must have been so hard for you and those poor kids. It’s so hard. I know I have done the right thing. I just wish they would do things discreetly so more people can come forward and feel comfortable without having any repercussions. I have a friend do a report in on her Daughter due to her partner at the time. So she wasn’t talking to her daughter at that point. So her daughter was called in for an interview and the lady slid the report over across the desk to show her and it had all her mums details on it that had reported her, It didn’t end well. It was meant to be anonymous.
So this incident I have posted about, I am probably the only one this mother really talks to because we cross paths daily and there is no way around it. I talk to keep a close eye on those kids. Such beautiful little kids. I just hope this report doesn’t go ignored and they have been tipped off for nothing is done.
You did the right thing, don't feel guilty! You have helped this family even if it means the end of a friendship, nothing comes before kids safety.
Thank you. She isn’t a friend as such so that part doesn’t bother me. It’s more that I have to face her everyday.I would chat and just listen mostly.My ears are always waiting for her to drop anymore red flags. I just hate the thought of these people being tipped off to cover themselves.
Depending on the state its all done differently.
I'm in nsw. It requires not just reports from random people, but ones from mandatory reporters like schools, drs, and so on, or the police, and hospitals. Reports can take months if not years to be looked into. My step kids, were reported a year befor anything was investigated, that was with school, police and hospital reports. Then it took another 8 months for the children to be placed with us there after.
Oh wow! that is a worry. The poor kids who suffer in the mean time. How sad. Let’s hope this changes.
I am the poster on here. There is no way she will give up her husband at all 100 % she protects him. They are very religious. When I say I would chat to her 3-4 hours a week it’s because I can’t avoid it, so half an hour here or there ads up over 7 days a week.By no way are we close friends but close as in live close. I can’t avoid this person but I myself am doing my best too.She doesn’t listen to anyone. I can’t confront her because she will deny it. Nothing comes before her husband. I am the first person who would ask her straight out but in this case, I have to tread carefully for the protection of those kids. If she gets wind of it she will run straight to him and he may never get caught.
Privacy laws doesn't allow for information to be shared
My daughters father was reported for abuse by a 3rd party ...they are unknown to myself and the father was never interviewed and has not been informed of allegations...after my daughter was interviewed they deemed no case and I was advised I'd be charged if I said anything to the father due to Privacy
Great thanks. I think these kids have recently been interviewed at school but can’t be certain. I just know I have done the right thing. Too many coincidences.