A child who stays with me(step son 6)had Inappropriate content (photos and videos) of themselves on their iPhone/iPad, the father(my husband)had reported it to police but being a mandatory reporter myself should I also report or is it overstepping the line? Content could easily be classed child pornography, I’ve been asked not to by dad but I feel like I need to just to make sure this gets looked into properly, as what he told me the police have said doesn’t leave me satisfied (they said to delete the videos if he likes as they have seen them and that is enough proof) I’m hoping it’s just a slip up of unrestricted access while with mum and I’m not in anyway trying to get him taken away I just worry that there is always the chance of something else going on, what would you ladies suggest I do, report or leave alone as there is a police report submitted. (I didn’t go to police with husband he went alone). He does not want me doing anything on my own back, but this content was extremely overwhelming to see, the child had recorded/taken photos himself from what we can tell. I told him I would be and he would have to hate me for doing it, if I do it I just won’t tell him once I’ve done it unless it comes to air, he knows I’m a mandatory reporter (child care)
12 Replies
As a mandated report the choice is out od your hands. Thats what mandated means. You are required to lodge it. I value my career highly so would just put it in asap and not tell him if he doesnt understand that.
Your husband has already reported it, it isn't going to change anything that you report it aswell the police will more then likely just say it has already been done. I would just not overstep the boundaries and trust that your partner is dealing with it.
“He says” he has reported it.
Have you seen the police report. Hate to be devils advocate here but unless you went with him to the station you don't know what he has done or how far involved he is. As a mandatory reporter you are legally bound to report it. If it comes out later you didn't you could lose your ability to hold a clearance.
I would be asking him for the case number with the police.
I hate to say it but I feel like he didn't actually go to the police and just made it up that he did and that was their instructions..
I’m a police officer and there’s no way in heck that the police told him to delete them. I guarantee that. He’s lying.
If it’s simply what’s stated in the post though, that the child has recorded himself, how is it an abusive situation?
Child was definitely inappropriate, and he needs to learn why, and the family probably need to have a round table about why the child was interested in this at all and what needs to be done going forward to protect and educate him.
But I fail to see what the police need to do, chastise him? Maybe, but I don’t think that’s mandatory or even an appropriate use of their time, and that’s probably why they’ve told the father to delete it. I think this is a job for the parents, who may need to plug into their child a bit more so they’re confident that they know where his head’s at and that he’s safe.
When he was recording he kept looking to the side and smiling and talking as if he HD an audience or talking to someone, addressing that “today we will be learning about my bum” while he then turns around and spreads his bottom apart and moving in and away from the camera saying this is the inside and this is outside it’s nice isn’t it, then he would turn around and do it with the front of himself. To me it’s as if someone is telling him what to do/say etc that’s why I’m concerned. Birth mother has different partners/fiancé’s all the time, 4 partners in 3.5 years living with them
The problem is that your husbands repeating a story. Who knows what actually happened or what was said. Police wouldn’t tell you to delete the photos if they were pursuing an investigation. It’s probably not going anywhere from the sounds of it. It should be though.
The problem is that your husbands repeating a story. Who knows what actually happened or what was said. Police wouldn’t tell you to delete the photos if they were pursuing an investigation. It’s probably not going anywhere from the sounds of it. It should be though.
Being a mandatory reporter does not mean you report to the police but to DOCS. The keyword here is MANDATORY. You are required by law to report.
I would also report it to police, as that story from your husband sounds really far fetched. They’d never say to delete them. Check to see if they have been deleted, and if yes, there is actually a Deleted files album too, so they may still be there. Please don’t let your husband know about this album, but take it straight to police for evidence.
Yes I ended up reporting to the child protection helpline, the videos seemed to me as though he was taking to someone, he kept looking to the side and smiling as though he had an audience. They’ve said I have done the right thing by doing so, the details I gave them they became quite shocked and said it sounds like grooming behaviour, who knows. They have been properly deleted, after telling the mother she too said to delete them as she didn’t want to see them