Ok Ladies. I have a 13yo Boy. He hit Year 7 this Year. He wants a mobile phone. We both want to hold off. Even if we got him one, I would not allow social media anyway. He says hes the only one in his year without one and even the teachers get annoyed that he cannot "screenshot" work he needs. We have great access to the internet at home and he is allowed this with supervision. He has, xbox and playstation also. We only have him so have provided everything he needs. I am comfortable with the fact that if he misses the bus there are other ways around the problem. My question is are there any other parents in the same position? Why do they NEED a phone? Im hearing of all sorts of phone related dramas coming from the school? Need some advice!! Please be nice.
13 Replies
My sister got her kid a dumb phone. That’s the compromise, she was prepared to make. The only reason she got him a phone at all is that public phones are becoming scarcer, and both parents have jobs that mean they could have to go to work at anytime.
He still can communicate with fiends etc after school etc and he hasn’t been left out of any social activities due to not having a smart phone.
If the school wants/needs kids to screen shot or have a device then they need to make that clear to the parents at the start of the year. If he needs to screen shot he could use a school iPad and email himself the info, so I don’t really buy that story. I don’t think it would hurt to have a quick chat to the school.
A basic talk and text phone is all that is needed. If a device is needed for school the school would have advised you of their BYOD policy last year so that you would be able to get your son the required device before the start of the new school year. Laptops or iPads are the required devices most schools anyway, not smartphones.
You realise the chatrooms and live games accessible on playstation and xbox are worse than social media, right?
I don't see the big deal. I once had a new year 7 kid come up to me asking if he could borrow my phone to call his step mum as he got off at the wrong stop. Imagine if he asked the wrong person? I just think it's easier to let them have a phone, they don't need to be expensive and can earn the credit, its also a pretty good punishment when they lose it.
Oh and he had to google her workplace to call her so a basic call and text phone would have been useless, google is an essential now! It is for me anyway, when was the last time anyone used a phone book lol.
Yes. I am well aware of this. He has zero access to these online games from his bedroom. Hubby is an avid online gamer.
Dumb phones can have numbers programmed in!
My grade 7 son isn't allowed his phone in his classes so he usually leaves it at home but he'd never get by without some kind of device.
Almost all his work is done on his device, stored on his device, a lot of communication with his teachers is done via apps or his school email.
He'd also be really out of the loop socially if he didn't have a phone/social media. They all make their plans through social media, interact through social media.
Times have changed - It's not like when we were growing up and there was a public phone box every couple of blocks or when every household had a landline or when it was socially acceptable to just rock up to a mates house to see if they wanted to hang.
Smart phones, internet and social media aren't going anywhere. I actually think teens do need to learn how to navigate all this stuff and how use them responsibly.
I'll also add a personal story, I didn't have enough money on my bus pass when I was in grade 8 and the asshole driver wouldn't let me on. I tried to reverse charge call home but the phone box wasn't working, I had no choice but to take the 1.5 hour walk home through some sketchy neighbourhoods and along a very dangerous highway.
It was almost 5pm by the time I got home, almost dark and my mother was minutes away from calling the police.
If you have a 13 year old, you might be early 40s like me?
Your son not having a phone to me is the equivalent of our parents not allowing us calls on the house phone. Can you imagine that? You can let him have a phone with restrictions you are comfortable with. I think, as much as we don’t like it, this is the new technology and we need to accept it. Imagine when tvs came out? I’m not letting my kids watch that lol Just my thoughts....
I'm 40 and have seen the whole change too! Growing up with just a house phone and payphones, such a different world. Then I think by mid to late 90's mobiles just started becoming attainable for normal people, still really expensive and built like a brick but popular. Because they were seen as a rich persons device and people who let their kids have one were crazy and had obviously very spoilt kids that has kind of stuck in todays world where mobiles have taken over. Parents will say yes to tablets, watches and game consoles but hell no to a phone lol.
Agree totally!
I can personally attest to how much it sucks not having access to the same technology as your peers. I grew up with a mother who was fearful of and overwhelmed by evolving technology.
I was a teen in the mid/late 00s, so I sort of experienced the beginning of life as we know it today.
My friends would go home from school and chat on MSN, MySpace or through email, we didn't even have a computer let alone internet access.
They all had those cool Motorola flip phones or the lucky ones even had a blackberry, my mum wouldn't even consider letting me get a Nokia 3210 😂
It definitely held me back socially.
My mum wouldn’t let me and my sister get our ears pierced, I know it’s a completely different thing, but it was something we felt strongly about and the other kids had them done and we felt we were missing out. I still think of it to this day.
My son gets the bus too, I’m not comfortable at work until I get the text “on the bus” and “I’m home”. Phones have made us spoilt but if I don’t get the text by 3.15 and 4.15, I’ll be calling him.
No he doesn’t need one. They also have lap tops at school to work on that they can save their work so I’m not sure if a teacher would really say that. My son is 13 on the weekend and he isn’t getting a phone. Once they have one there is no going back. They will have one for the rest of their lives. Hold off as long as you can. I don’t care that my son doesn’t have one at school when everyone else does. He doesn’t need one. His school also doesn’t like it that kids all have phones but it’s hard to stop it these days especially with the older kids. Phones shouldn’t be allowed in schools. They should be kept in bags until home time.
My daughter is also in grade 7 and she uses her phone a lot at school, they have several apps that they use. We were not told about these it was just assumed by the school that all children have a phone in high school. My daughter also isnt allowed social media however I have noticed how out of the loop she is with all her friends with this rule in place. We caught her on social media and engaging in silly crap so she had her phone taken from her for a decent period of time, she has since had to do certain activities a different way to the rest of her class as she doesn't have her phone.
Unfortunately it is the way the world is going and there is no point in fighting it and making your child miss out if it's something they "need".