I love my dad but he doesn't seem to love me.
I have tried my hardest to have a relationship with him and just keep getting knocked down :(. My mum and dad are no longer together.
He has moved on and well good on him, the new girl hates me, I have never given her a reason either, I always treat her with respect when visiting and include her in everything even though she rejects all invitations. It has now got to a point my father will not visit me or have anything to do with me unless I initiate the phone call or visit. My kids also suffer from this and I hate it.
My father will go watch my brother's do their sport, drive to drop keys off, be in the same town as me and have my brother's kids over the holidays but refuses to have mine (ADHD) but lie about it all. He has even made a fake profile on Facebook and said some pretty hurtful things to me through the profile (he claims it isn't him) I caught him out by the information I was passing onto the fake profile and him. Yes high school bullshit, I reported and blocked the account because I just couldn't be bothered really.
It honestly breaks my heart and I just want to try and fix it all but it seems I can't no matter how much I try. I really should of expected and braced myself for it as he did leave behind my older half sister and had no contact with her until she was an adult and come seeking him. He has now formed a bond with her and they talk all the time. It's like because I am a girl, I am worth nothing to him :(. It has even ruined my bond with 2 of my brother's.
Do I just let go? Forget he exists? It's so hard, I am expecting my 4th baby and I want them to know all grandparents but I can't keep driving myself insane with all the lies and stuff he does to me!!
I have since sent him a message and let him know how I was feeling. His response was "he has no f**king idea" what I am on about. I have let him go from my life and it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders :)
7 Replies
I’d get myself some counselling and cut him off!!
This is where modelling healthy relationships for our kids is paramount. Don’t model clinging to someone who continues to reject you. Model, holding your head high, knowing you and your kids deserve better and walking away from someone who will never engage in a healthy way with you.
Why would you want your kids around a guy who is so toxic??
I am slowly cutting him out, it is just so hard. I never thought I would have to cut a parent off.
I cut my Dad out of my life 10 years ago. Not that he noticed, he only rang twice a year and the conversation would be him trying to remember how many kids I have and their names. His wife has always hated me and I blame that for his attitude. I could never be with someone that hates my kids and let their opinion rub off on me. I blocked him and younger siblings from facebook, blocked his phone and became very selective of who i gave information to about what was going on in my life. People say lifes too short to hold grudges, I say lifes too short to waste on people who prove they don't give a damn about you. Cut them all off, be free from the toxicity and live your free life. Hide posts on facebook of anyone that posts about him so you don't see it.
I do think cutting him out of my life for good is the only option I have. I can't keep bringing myself down because of his behaviour. My dad won't even call me and if I call him I'm lucky if he answers
It sounds like this new woman in his life is jealous of you.
We have gone through something similar with my grandfather. He bought my parents a house in his state so he could be closer to us but when he divorced my grandmother and met his new woman he completely cut us out of his life.
They have since separated and we now have a relationship but so much has come out about how much she hated all of us. She is now trying to take my parents house!
She alienated him from his whole family and would only allow him to do things with her own family. He has missed the births of 5 great-grandchildren, weddings and so many other special occasions, he cries about it now.
Maybe let him go for now, but keep the door open. He may come back when this woman leaves his life.
I cut mine out a year ago after 14 years of only phone calls that turned into text messages only on special occasions. And if we did talk on the phone he was abusive and made me cry. I'm having my 1st baby in 2 weeks and she won't know him and I didn't tell him I'm pregnant, instead my stepdad will be her grandpa.
WOW, the fake profile bullshit is just cookoo I'm sorry to say 😒 you all deserve better and quite frankly what does you brother do to stick up gor you?? I don't know your story and maybe there's more to it but really!! Move on..get therapy and find family in those who love and support you💙