I am in my late 40;s, separated (for 8 years), but not divorced. Our children are 14 and 16, and I have recently bought a mortgage/ house.
The man I am seeing is living with me (for the last 6 months) and has not been earning but has contributed significant labor to the household ( he has improved the value of the property by painting externally and constructing an external fence / gate-- he has done the work, I have paid for materials.....he has worked fucking hard and done an awesome job. I feel very lucky.
I am super appreciative of the work he has done, but am concerned about making sure that it is clear that the house we live in is my asset, and will belong to my boys when I am gone.
I don't think I am a materialistic person, but how do I make sure that he has no claim on what I see as my children's inheritance, while still sharing our home with him?
13 Replies
He deserves some percentage. Weather you paid for supplies or not he still used his time to make the house worth more. You will still have the remainder for your kids in the event of your demise. It would be wrong if you to take 100 percent for the kids and leave him with nothing when he contributed too. Even if it’s 25% , it’s still something he earned.
Oh god this should have been done long ago.
Get onto a lawyer ASAP, put a prenup in place and if he won’t sign it get him to move out.
If he could prove he has contributed to the home like you’ve explained, he could easily claim some of it..
I would personally allocate maybe 10% to him and 45% per kid.. or leave a sum of $$ for him.
Otherwise, have him pay rent and have it drawn up legally to show it is rent and not contributing to anything else.. but then you can’t let him pay for other things or do manual labour without that prenup in place.
Literally get to a lawyer today..
By not doing what youre doing. Cant have it both ways.
I don't think you can guarantee that especially if you've only just bought the house and he's been in it from the beginning. I know you can put property in a trust to guarantee it goes to who you want but no idea if you have to fully own it to do that. Hopefully someone has answers for you.
You shouldn’t have moved him in without sorting this out.
You needed a prenup and you needed to be clear about this from before he moved in.
Stop allowing him to do any work to the house!
If the tables were turned, you can guarantee you would expect some percentage of it in return.
So you want him increasing the value and getting nothing back? Let's be honest, if you're an average healthy 40 yr old, you're not dying for another 40 odd years anyway. You're not protecting your kid's assets... You're increasing your own and wanting it for free. If he's worth that little to you, pay him his 50/hr labour which is pretty much mates rates for tradies for the work he's done and break up with him.
Agree. Pay him for the work he has done and be honest with him.
Um... maybe not living together in the first place? I know that seems rude but why would you move in with someone and not expect for them to have some share in your house after living with you, presuming this a long term thing?
See a lawyer, do up a will and state clearly that your children are to inherit the house should you pass.
My grandfather had in place that the house would belong to my step grandmother and then when she passed it was to be left to my aunty. Could you do the same? That way, long term, your children will still inherit the house.
Well to start off you are not divorced so the house you have purchased can be considered an asset of the marriage in divorce proceedings. You need to get the divorce sorted and hope he doesn't try anything with that because I have seen it happen.
As for the new partner. You should not have let him do the work to increase the house value while living there. He has increased the house value and you want him to have nothing. Frankly you are using him to better the value of your asset and plan to leave him with nothing in the long run. That's crap.
You are already defacto and he has some claim on the house (as he should).
Basically, you have 2 people who can currently claim against the house you purchased.
You need a lawyer, like yesterday, to get all of this worked out properly.
Imagine if a woman posted her partner doing this. HE has contributed, if you had to pay someone to do it would you have afforded it?
Does he know he is doing all this work on a house you share and you don't consider it his?
I have seen a woman do this and the bloke turned on her when his house was done. It was wrong and is wrong. Unless he knew from start.
If he is working on it then he deserves a percentage of the profit.
You write a will with what the house was worth when you bought it, then if something was to happen to you, your boys get that value plus half of what the profit is when the house sells.
That way he is still entitled to half of the profit, not the whole house.
Pay him for the work he has done and then see a lawyer about a will.
I understand where you are coming from, I bought my own house outright with inheritance and wanted to make sure that in the event anything should happen to me my house would go to my children. I was honest with my partner and told him, when explained he was very understanding but in case of a breakup and ill feelings I also had it written up in my will that my house goes to my children, it's their home and their future.