My little girl is now 9yo and I know it is time to start preparing her for puberty and periods.
Unfortunately, I don't know how!! My mother was never an open or warm person. I learned about periods when she shoved a book at me and told me to read it. She was quite shamed and, in turn, so was I. I didn't even tell her when I first got my period for months because I was embarrassed.
I want my daughter's experience to be completely different. But I have no idea how to broach the conversation?
I would love any hints or tips - even book recommendations we can read together etc?
Thank you x
8 Replies
Don’t try and make it one big conversations. Make it lots of everyday conversations.
In the supermarket, I’ve got to buy pads/tampons because my period is due. Talk about body changes in general.
Ask her what she thinks will happen and does she have any questions. Don’t be surprised if she already knows some things and some very wrong things. Kids with older siblings will have been talking already and a lot of kids have unfettered access to the internet.
Talk about your own body. Make it part of your life.
The first time you mention it might feel awkward, but the more you talk about it the easier it is. I’d also get a book that you can read together or refer to if you aren’t sure about something.
I always spoke to my children from a young age about things... In an age appropriate manner... It's hard but you want her to feel she can come to you about anything. So just start off with general conversations, tell her that her body will start to change soon, and what she can expect. Keep it simple and light hearted. But most of all don't worry :) Everything happens when it is meant too. Maybe ask her if she has any questions about what it means to become a woman. If she doesn't have any questions then let it go. Ask again in a couple of months time etc etc. When she is ready she will ask you and all you have to do is answer her honestly. I never used books as I felt it was better for my children if they heard it from me when they were ready and not a book. Maybe I should have though lol because they now come to me with things that sometimes I wonder if they realise I'm their Mum and don't want to know what they are telling me or asking lol.. Best of luck to you.
I started talking to my kids (both sexes) about my period when my eldest was 6.
I told her that every month we release an egg and if it doesn't become a baby then we get our period. This means we bleed for 5-7 days. It happens to all women.
I have been dropping snippets of sex education and anatomy since they were 4 so by the time I explained what a period was it wasn't a big deal.
They've seen me buy tampons and asked me about it.
When they were super young and refused to leave the bathroom Ive had to change in front of them as horrified as I was its normalized everything for them.
Don't make it a big deal. Just start by dropping little bits of info here and there and answer her questions if she gets curious or just leave it if she doesn't ask questions.
My daughter is 8 now and just this morning she asked me if wearing a tampon hurts. I told her it didn't but she doesn't have to use one when she gets her period. She can use pads or period undies. Then went on to explain each one. She was happy with the answer and changed the subject.
So thats kind of how Ive approached it.
Oh I also have 2 books "where did i come from?" And "secret girl business".
does the school run interrelate session? great ice breaker. I have been very transparent with my kids boy and girls. It part of life and i felt important for all to know. My mum was never shy about it but wasn't super open either. If you have material gives her something to go through, and my girls have a pencil case in the bottom of their school bags with a couple of pads, spare undies, and a plastic bag. If they get them for the first time at school know what to do. Or share with a friend if they get stuck. also have pads in the bathroom for her so it's not a major thing. Ask her what she knows? schools start this conversation in yr 4/5 so it might not be a surprise for her but opens the door to ask questions
Some great advice has already been given but you could also make her a period pack with some pads and even period underwear as well as some chocolate to have ready for when the time comes.
My mother was never open either so I am complete opposite. When my disgusted is grumpy, I said things like ohh I think you are getting the age where you might get your period soon. I make jokes about it so she is at ease. I stir her up and make it a fun thing for her so she doesn’t take it too serious. I said to her the other day, I will get you a small packets of girls pass to pop in your bag just incase you get your period at school. I also it may be embarrassing just go to the office or speak to your teacher if anything happens at school. We laugh about it and how it’s life and no big deal. Every female goes through it. Make it fun not anything to be scared of. Also grab her a Kaz cook girls stuff book 8-12 at big w or Kmart she is great. Lots of info. Relax and remember you aren’t your m and you want to raise your daughter openly about these things. So don’t stress it. It’s nothing l. I was horrified to talk about this stuff when I was younger because of my mum being the way she was. No I am so opposite and treat my kids how I would have wanted my mum to tell me and not scare me with it but realise it’s natural and it’s life. Make jokes with her so she feels at ease too.
Get her a copy of Kaz Cooke's "Girl Stuff (8-12)" book. Let her read through it (or read it together!) and she can come to you with any questions she might have.
Buy the Libra Girl products (or whatever brand you prefer, most of them have a range for young girls now). Show her what they look like, how they work, how to use them, etc.
I’ve just made periods about our every day life. My 7 and 4 year old girls have talked about periods when they see mine (public toilets). I explain factually that it’s the vaginas way of keeping itself clean. Just factual.
I tell them, one day when you’re older you will get boobs like me and have to wear a bra. You will also ect your period, periods can be annoying but it’s your body cleaning inside your vagina (I don’t go into the anatomy yet.)
When it comes time I will buy them period undies. I use them and they’re the best. No more period anxiety.... ever.
My husband also won’t shy away from the topic. 2 daughters, periods are normal not shameful.
When they are older we will talk about the anatomy of periods and what it means. We will also talk about sex in an open way. I don’t want them thinking sex is dirty. We will talk about it as being enjoyable with the right person when both parties consent. I will also ensure they’re ready for the big emotions that sex can bring with it as well.