I need advice please ❤️ My husband wants a break ... I am so heartbroken - what if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together again. Me and my kids have had to move back into my parents house and I feel like I’m just waiting for my husband to make a decision and it’s killing me. I just want to go home ... has anyone else ever had a “break” with their husband and things actually worked out? I’m so scared of what’s going to happen in the future this is just not how I saw my life
18 Replies
He’s not sure if he wants to be with you. Is that really the sort of relationship you want? To be with someone whose only 1/2 in it. Life is too short to wait around being someone’s back up plan. Go honey. Get out. Live you life and find a partner who tells you every day that he doesn’t want to be anywhere but with you!
No this is definitely not the relationship I want 💔 but I’m scared - I want marriage and my family together I don’t want to be apart from him but I can’t make him want me either. We made a vow and now he decides it’s too hard ... I am so heartbroken 😔
What kind of man kicks his wife and kids out? What a selfish act! If he 'needs a break' he should take it.... Not force everyone else out of their home. Move back in and tell him you either work it out together or he gets his space elsewhere
He said he “needs a little time” but how long I don’t know. I can’t sit and wait anymore. I feel like I’m in limbo mode and my life has been put on hold until he can figure out what he wants. It’s really cruel 💔
Omg I agree. If he wants the break he needs to leave the house not YOU and the kids! How confusing for them.
Show him you don’t need him and you’re getting on with your life (in your home) regardless of whether he’s in it or not. You’ve got the power, as hard as it is start planning your life without him. Might also give him the shock he needs. Big hugs mama. Xx
Yes i had a break from my husband of 16 years on two occasions. One was for 7 months. The 2nd time 3 yrs later was 9.5 months. I was your husband. I was the one who left.
Its been 2 yrs since the two breaks and things are back on track, and better than ever with adjustments and councilling.
Sometimes breaks work and sometimes they don't. If core issues arent fixed, forget it ever working out again.
I believe we only worked because the love was still there as we participated in councilling sessions. Without love it just won't work no matter how much councilling you get. If he still loves you, he'll come 'round with significant changes accompanying it. But right now be patient. Pressure never works and will push him away more.
As in left the relationship* ( even tho he's still in the house )
Nope hes kicked you out, its done. You cant go back anyway, you would never trust him. He didnt take a little time for himself, he put you out. Hes the type that doesnt do confrontation so he lied and underplayed it, but he wants to separate and hes got what he wants, you've moved out.
Anything that may be worked out here will take a long time.
The best thing you can do to make him miss you is to sort out the childcare split and start putting that on him. And child support. Withdraw your emotional support and start taking care of yourself. If he wants to try out being single let him know exactly how it will be.
I couldn't live with this kind of uncertainty and I've never understood this concept of "having a break".
It's utterly selfish and unfair to put your significant other in this not really together but not really separated position.
You either want to make your relationship work or you dont!
Don't sit around and wait for him to make a decision. Start making plans for your future, whether that means moving back into your home and kicking his sorry ass to the curb until he's got his head in order or starting from scratch and looking for your own place - that's really up to you.
Are they his kids? You say my kids so I’m unsure?
Give him a break, protect yourself emotionally and don’t let him string you along, and don’t have sex with him! Other than being hurt emotionally you will be fine as a single mum. You’ve got this. Get your finances in order and don’t let him think you are sitting around waiting for him. Live your best life!
Put one foot in front of the other and show your kids you are strong enough to do it on your own!
You may not feel it but fake it til you make it!
Make a list and start a actioning it.
Look for a place to rent. Seek legal advice about financial separation and custody. Get your ducks in a row.
A man who only considers you as an option isn’t worth waiting on!
Has he tried to explain why he wants a break? Is it possible he’s met someone else and has taken a break from you to see if things will work out with this other person?
Start the process of getting on with your life. Mediation to sort out custody arrangements. Legal advice to sort out property settlement. Counseling for you to help you through this difficult time. Contact child support so that he will hopefully pay to support the children he helped create. Contact Centrelink to ensure you are getting the correct payments for your current circumstances.
Yep and then I found out he’d been having an affair with a friend for 5 years and just stalling the leaving me process while he found himself! I was sick to my stomach for 5 months waiting and lost 20 kgs. Kids and I so much better without him in the end
Ok so you don’t want to wait anymore then go home babe. He can’t kick you and the kids out. That’s just outrageous. So he wants a break...he needs to move out. So go home. Tell him you don’t want to split and that if he needs more time he can go. Also darl, if he doesn’t want you then you don’t need that kind of shit in your life. As hard and devastating as it is. Tell him to leave, you stay put. He doesn’t get to call this split and then kick you and the kids out. My heart goes out to you, it truly does, but don’t be a doormat. Step up for what you and your kids deserve. 😘
Sometimes these are needed in a relationship to create a stronger one in the end. My husband and I will be taking one at some point, not because we don't love each other but for our own reasons and to reset
Sometimes I give my partner a break and go away for a few days and give him his own space... I once went away with the kids for 3 1/2 weeks... he couldn't come because of work so I went anyway and for the first week I didn't hear much from him but by the 2nd week more frequent and the 3rd week he was counting down the days til I got home.
But if this is something he needs then why are the children being kicked out of home away from their things... that's not right...
suggest he take a holiday. Away from work too, some place where he can recharge and figure it out
Umm if he's the one that wants the break, why have you been disrupted?!
Honestly, and I know this is not a nice thing to think of... I would be saying ok you want a break no problem - we're done.
How dare he think he can treat you this way! Don't you show him how this is effecting you, be strong for you and your kids and get rid of him. I don't want to be harsh, but he's just expecting you to be waiting around for him to be done with whatever he is doing.
Hi OP - how are things now?