Ok Sisters tell me
Am I being nasty for calling my husband a cheapskate? Every Easter we buy our children one chocolate bunny each then buy a few bags of mini eggs for Easter egg hunt. We always go to the dam, have a simple sausage sizzle, a platter with veggie sticks cheese and crackers, a bowl of cut up fruit and bottles of water. The kids play games and do different crafts. It’s always been a simple affair. I decided this year I’d buy the four older children an Oodie each and the two younger children new dressing gowns. Hubby blew his top last night when I pulled them out to put on the kids beds. I don’t think I did anything wrong but hubby is pissed I didn’t ask him. Now we both work full time jobs - he does longer days then me, but we own our current home and have scrimped and saved to buy our forever home (hubby didn’t want to get another mortgage.) Hubby easily earns 3x what I do, he pays the bills and we’ve been living off my wage for the week to week - groceries/daycare/clothes so we could save his earnings to pay for our new home. Did I do the wrong thing?
Just to add - five weeks ago he took our eldest and bought her a brand new VW t-roc without speaking to me first, she paid for a third of it he paid for the rest and she’s paying it off interest free. I’m totally fine with that but how come it’s fine for him to do that but me spending $300 on Easter gifts is wrong?
Am I being nasty for calling my husband a cheapskate?
Am I being nasty for calling my husband a cheapskate?
Posted in:
Money
6 Replies
Sounds controlling, like he's allowed to do whatever he likes but you can't. I would have been pissed about the car, some people have strong views on whether or not to buy childs first car so if he didn't know your views on it he definitely should have discussed. I would be pissed about the easter gifts, pissed that he is pissed!
I don’t even think he thinks about it. Like when I feel pregnant with number six he traded my car in and came home with a new one - no discussion and when I got the shits he simply said but we needed more seats. It was like he didn’t realise he should discuss it with me - we were just going to need more seats than the current seven seater we had!
He also hates the kids dressing in hand me downs and would rather buy the kids a new seasonal wardrobe each year rather than the eldest getting new clothes and the younger kids getting their older sisters clothes! He is very methodical when he comes shopping with me for the kids new clothes too like he will get each of them three jumpers before moving onto pants, then shirts then pjs then undies then socks then slippers, before he goes back to get the two little ones two extra sets of clothing his reasoning being the four older ones wear school uniforms and the two little ones don’t. One of my work mates thinks he’s OCD. I’m just used to it as we have been together since we were teenagers.
He has mental health issues. Please have him see a gp ASAP.
You didn’t do anything wrong, your husband has control issues. You bet your life if he had thought of it, he would have done the same thing without running it past you.
Are you the mum who’s husband wanted another baby and teenager is pregnant? I’m becoming very concerned for you, and I wonder if there are more control/abuse issues than you’ve realised?
Very strange relationship, sounds like he thinks he’s boss and you’ve allowed it for years.
I think both of you should have discussed both situations together before hand.