Hi everyone, need help with my 12 year old son please, thanks.
So due to what seems like depression and anxiety at times, and a gaming addiction, through consults with doctors and counselling appointments and school, we currently have strict no tech rules in our household. We have referrals out for a paediatrician and a psychiatrist. They do have access to YouTube on the Tv that I limit. Though the gp did say we would be limiting his social circles we are firm in having no technology time iPad, Xbox or computer games other than 2 hours on a Sunday at this stage. Rules have been in place for about 6 weeks.
We live on a farm and our children have access to lots of activities, motorbikes, push bikes, slug guns, an old but usable tennis court, trampoline, vuly swing set, monkey bars, the animals and dairy jobs, channels to fish in or kayak. Lawn to mow, utes to drive, they have sporting gear and musical instruments, lego, board games and books etc...
My children also participate in numerous out of school activities, I’m out most nights of the week, either at football or netball training, cricket is now finished, dancing and gymnastics and guitar lessons.
My question is what do your 12 year old, or young teenage boys do for activity, to fill in their time at home. My son won’t do any of those above mentioned activities without being pushed or someone else doing it with him to start it. My husband is very busy so doesn’t have a lot of time to show the kids the things that I’m not really in the know about. My son has a friend over at the moment and all he can say is that he is bored. His friend want to do lots of those fun things mentioned above and he won’t. He just keeps asking when he is going to get his technology back and will mope around or sit on the couch. So what do your tween or young teenage boys enjoy, thanks 😊
7 Replies
I don’t think it’s the activities that are the problem. Tech is set up to be extremely rewarding. The screen light, the awards and sounds in games all set off high levels of feel good. I think as a family you might have to make yourselves more available while you get over this hump and both parents engage him in those other activities.
Removing the tech and providing activities isn’t going to be enough, you need to be actively engaging with him, to get him involved even if that means some other fun activities get put on hold for a few months.
Thanks for your reply, I have been thinking a similar thing, but I do spend a lot of time with the kids, most of my time outside of school hours, and I find it really difficult to get my jobs done. I’m sad that this is so visible from my description, as my children are the most important thing in the world to me.
Yep 100 activities are boring and just work if youre not invested. He needs to find his passion. Something with a challenge, so he has to work and practice and set himself goals and level up in. It could be anything at all. Sraeing manga, skateboarding, slingshot, its down to him to find his hobbies or make his fun though, being on computers does take that away, give him time. Instead of listing off all the things maybe set him one challenge, like do one hundred consecutive handball shots off the wall or one lengthy task, like wash the kayaks for me (he might decide to use them, or set up a waterplay or who knows what)
I have an 11year old in a similar boat.
We have only just moved onto property so these activities are still new.
But unless I tell him to go do....he will just sit not even playing the game, watching some annoying adult squeal on YouTube.
We have put in a pool, creek down the back, trampoline, Totem tennis, basketball hoop, bike, electric scooter, animals. Bash a tree....something...
I feel your pain
I would have been in heaven where we live
His sister is only a year younger then him, so he isn’t alone
We did teach him to drive our car to run trees down to the fire or take our bins to the road.
Even then we have to ask him to
Thanks, glad to hear I’m not alone, all the best
I told my kids a sport is not negotiable, it can be what ever they want, my son was difficult around 12 so we joined a youth gym program, was with kids his age, getting fit and having fun. we also as a family go out on sunday, almost every week. it's called family funday sunday. could be a picnic, walk somewhere new or our favourite beach. Connection at this age is important, they need to know that they are loved and wanted even when being mega pains in thr arse. Consistent framework and hang in there......
My son is 13. His dream is to live your child’s life. He’s been asking for a motor bike since he could talk. I’ve never been able to afford to get him one. He also loves basketball.
We live in a small town with limited things to do. My son goes at least once a day to the school basketball courts & spends an hour or two there by himself or a few hours with friends.
My son also loves gaming, but he still gets out & does stuff.
He boards for school, so they do lots of activities. He has his gaming console there with him, but he still does all the activities as long as it’s not too much for him. He won’t do a disco or similar because he can’t handle the noise.