Hey sisterhood.
I’m recently divorced (35), was with my husband for 18 years, 3 kids, 3 csections, stretch marks from my boobs to my knees.
My body isn’t all bad, but it’s certainly in the ‘ used’ category.
Sex with my husband was always lacking, mainly emotionally, and we weren’t adventurous.
I do have a disability which limits the free movement in my pelvis (so I can’t be on top and ‘ride’ a guy) that I used to have. So I can’t be crazy adventurous or I can’t function for days following.
It also impacts the nerves in that area, so orgasming is harder for me too. Although not impossible.
I have a mum tum that hangs over my csection a bit, my boobs are lower than they used to be (but rock in a push up bra), an extra chin as well. I could lose 10kgs... but I’m not badly overweight at 75kgs.
How the hell do I start having sex again?
Where do I find non sleezy, non creepy guys that wouldn’t judge me?
Does that exist?
I feel so awkward.
I’m not ready for a relationship but I sure could go with a FWB set up that builds my confidence.
8 Replies
I think you need to just date or go out and pick up and once youve done it a few times youll feel much better about yourself
75 kilos is within a normal BMI weight range. What's your height? You could only be overweight at 75 if you are quiet short. Its possible you are much harsher on yourself than you should be xx
Use Fetlife. Write posts stating exactly what you want and whether or not you want a one time thing or fwb
Google couple sex toys, they have all types of things available to help keep positions comfortable 🤷♀️🤷♀️
I’m recently separated. Never married so I’m not divorced. 3 kids as well and 35 yrs old. I too could loose a good 10-15 kilos! Hadn’t been with another man in 10 years. I downloaded Hinge and Bumble just for an ego boost. Just wanted to see what kind of guys would swipe right on me. I was very honest on my profile about having kids and put normal, non glamorous photos of myself. To my astonishment, I got matches! Hot matches! I decided to meet up with one guy who was lovely and ticked a lot of boxes, but I went into it all wrong. I was nervous, lacked confidence and I completely stuffed up our first meeting. A few weeks later, I started chatting to another guy and decided I wouldn’t make the same mistakes. We met up when I was ready, and I made sure my head was in the right place and felt confident. It’s all about confidence! This guy loves my body. Stretch marks and saggy bits and all! He tells me with his hands and his words! He thinks it’s beautiful that my body brought 3 beautiful kids into the world. He doesn’t have kids of his own either so it’s not like he’s used to mum bods. There are decent guys out there who will like you for you. And yes, they do exist on dating apps! Haha. Best of luck with your new found freedom. Have fun!
100 percent the guys that just do not care about those things exist. They have usually been around the block a few times themselves and have their own scars lol. I think it's more important to build that trust with someone so you feel less self-conscious. I found a new partner, over years added 20kg and now need to take it all back off. Throughout the entire thing he still tells me I'm beautiful.
Been single now for just over 12 months, high sex drive so going without was not going to happen. A friend suggested a few websites that are for finding fwb or random hookups or what ever you're looking for to meet your needs. Was terrified at first cause I thought no one would give me a second glance but made up a profile, used my real age and size and OMG have been flooded with attention. Most guys could care less about stretch marks or cellulite or flabby stomachs, they're looking for someone who wants to have some fun. That's it. Have met quite a few guys who have become regular fwb, some once a month, some less often or more often, depending on what I'm in the mood for ;) Embrace your new freedom and go have some fun, just do it safely :)
Start by finding out just what you like. Invest in some good clitoral vibrators.
Wild Secrets, Xes Products and Unbound Babes all have excellent products.
Is a sex therapist or sex worker something you would consider?
That could help with the confidence and also finding what positions you enjoy that don't hurt