How do you walk away from someone you love ?
I don’t know if I can take my relationship anymore.. I’m sick of being the only one trying. We spend no time together ( he sits down the shed most of the time)
He shows no affection what so ever anymore, rarely any sex. You can’t communicate anything to him, he just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal any of my concerns...
One min I’m happy and the next I’m bawling my eyes out thinking where did it go wrong ?
I just don’t know if it’s worth fighting for anymore..
3 Replies
'It' is a dream, you have to deal with what you have in front of you, thats the reality of being with him. So, bawling your eyes out often at the flick of a switch, cant communicate anything to him, is that worth it?
One thing I've learned over the years is that it's not me.
I love my partner, and I don't doubt he loves me. We spend little time together though.
I'm smart, funny, not terribly sociable but still not unlikeable. After so many years of trying to spend time, he doesn't want to be there and just makes my time sour.
He's doing what makes him happy. If that's down the shed drinking beers and tinkering, if it's a quiet smoke with his friends, if it's going out for lunch with workmates - I'm glad he enjoys something.
What I DON'T do anymore is sit around moping about it. I'm capable of making my own happy too and my happy is travel. In 5 months I've travelled thousands of kilometres. From the Sunshine Coast to FNQ, next month I'm going west for 2 weeks. Stopping at numerous little towns on the way to see the sights, set up camp, meet some amazing people, see some amazing places and bring home the happy snaps.
Of course it's not "normal" but honestly, who gets to decide what normal is? And why do we have to be normal anyway.
I think after all this time if he tried to encroach on one of my travels I'd leave him along the way in a shallow grave (joking of course, I'd chuck him on a bus home) because I'm especially enjoying the autonomy of doing what I want when I want.
You do mention other problems too. It can't hurt to try to take some of the pressure off the relationship and see if the other things improve. The worst it can do is not work.
Do they cons out way the pros? If so it's time to leave.
Maybe then he will see where he needs to improve. And if he wants to save the relationship he will.
You both might just need a break from each other.