My husband pays a lot of child support for his two children which he has no problem with, it’s almost shared care, but his ex wife doesn’t allow the children to go on school camps, participate in excursions, buy much needed uniforms etc because she says she can’t afford it. The poor kids miss so much. Can the child support agency do anything?
21 Replies
Just putting it out there, as a single mum, it can be tough.
I work full time and my cs helps with rent, food, bills etc.
I’m not living the life of luxury and I get a decent amount.
Is she really struggling or do you think she buys things she shouldn’t?
You can pay for these things in lieu of child support. You have to try and get the other parent to agree to it but if not it goes to the agency and they decide. My ex used to do it because he couldn't handle giving me money as he was financially controlling our whole relationship.
Why doesn’t your partner pay for those things? Child support doesn’t cover everything- if he cares he can just pay it.
I pay for everything as my children’s father refuses to work or help with our children.
I know what my kids need so I make it work, no ones stopping your partner stepping up and doing what the kids need
If he's paying ' a lot of child suppprt' as you say, it's because he clearly earns more than her. And since its 50/50 care he can pay for their sports, surely. Or If its going to be such a tit for tat battle with them then they can hold off on the extra curricular activities for now.
Also as you as the new wife it's really none of your business.
So I'm a stepmum here and yeah, it's tough. But my husband used to pay child support PLUS half of everything else. Child support doesn't cover cost of everything. Now we no longer pay child support as my stepdaughter lives with us. Mum pays child support and trust me, it doesn't cover much at all 💁♀️
Your idea of a lot may not be enough though...
If you have the means you should definitely chip in and help with these things. Your husband is responsible for their childhood experiences and I promise you if they we’re together he’d have spent well over the child support amount on his children!
It is probably best to sit down and think where child support is going:
- To groceries
- To phone bills
- To internet bills
- To school supplies
- To mortgage or rent repayments
If it is almost shared care, why can't he supply school uniforms, pay for excursions, school camps etc? Just because he pays child support it doesn't mean that is all he should provide..
What do you mean by a lot? Some parents pay thousands, some pay nothing and some pay a few hundred and expect that to be "a lot". My husband receives child support from his ex and everything we spend money on is apparently paid by her. A few years ago we went overseas and that was all with her child support money apparently. We should write a book on how to live well on $800 a month 😂.
My husband's ex is paying $20 a week on child support 🤣. Like why even bother? She said it's not worth her getting a job because she'll have to pay child support 😑 meh, whatever. We'll continue to do our thing 💁♀️
Someone I know pays $3.50 a week per kid. Then has the audacity to act like he pays for the mum's iPhone, their holidays etc.
Like, mate, your contribution barely covers the cost of a loaf of bread. Sit down 😂
My ex brother in law was paying over $800 a week for 3 kids and my sister was still asking to go halves for school laptops and uniforms. Her children were all in full time school as well so she could have gone back to work.
I get $770 a month, work full time, I live on my own with my kids and I cop "thats more than enough" I paid $320 each for my kids to go to school and over $900 in branded school uniforms (because I had to) and my ex didn't pay for anything!! But $770 a month her pay occasionally is enough 👌
Yes I get $600 a month and work full time. People say it’s a lot. It doesn’t even cover their activities
He can organise this with the school directly. Just call them and pay. Or do it when uhe has care of them, assuming he does . Just paying to the mother doesnt mean he also doesn't support his kids and buy them all of those things that they always need. And if he never has care of them, and never buys them a thing, then he really needs to shut his mouth to be honest.
Nope, that’s not how it works.
Also one persons can be not very much. Especially if mum is having to live in a more expensive area to keep the kids in familiar schools and close to dad.
If she genuinely cannot afford these things, what exactly would you have the child support agency do?
Do you expect them to force her to choose between groceries and a school camp?
Do you expect them to make her to produce money from thin air that she simply doesnt have?
You make a complaint to CSA at best they'll reevaluate the rate she receives, which will result in one of 3 outcomes.
1. It'll stay they same.
2. She'll get less.
3. Your husband will pay more.
Maybe just consider that most parents don't want to send their kids off to school in crappy, too small uniforms. Nor do they want their kids to miss out on excursions or camps but sometimes something's gotta give and camps and excursions aren't exactly number one priority in terms of survival.
What part of the set up makes you both believe that doing these things for his own kids is not his responsibility?
Im a single mum with 2 kids.. I recieve around $770 a month in childsupport, I work full time and recieve familytax benefits but sometimes it not enough.. both my kids are in school, I budget really well but if my kids wrecked their shoes or needed new uniforms it's not something I'd have the money for straight away, I really struggle some weeks! And on the off chance I'm doing well and I can splurge on the kids.. BUT my ex husband says the same things "you recieve all this child support and can't do this or that"... simple answer no I don't! he has two incomes coming into the house, two incomes is so much easier than one!!!
Ultimately you can not dictate what childsupport goes to regardless of your involvement, its up to who ever recieves it. Why don't you pay for these things if you have an issue with it??
You can complain if you want to but it won't help anything. If he is paying a lot of child support that is for their everyday costs, if she camps and excursions are extra, but she has to contribute to them as well as dad, and by the looks of this she isn't willing to. So if the kids want to go dad can pay for it and claim extroidinary payment. I am a single mum my child has special needs, I pay for all his uniforms and school costs, I pay for all of his sporting costs uniforms and travel. We have travelled across australia for state swimming and not once regardless of how proud DAD says they are has he offered up any extra money to assist, we have relied on fundraising grants and donations......SO if mum doesn't want to cough up the kids miss out and nothing you can do
Just a question - but why can’t your husband just pay for the excursions and camps? That’s what I’d do if they were my kids. I’d even be fine if dad said “hey if you really want to go on school camp I can pay for it?” Maybe he can then have the honour of dropping them off on the morning of camp. Or pick them up - that’s the best! Don’t start another fight with the mum because you think she’s being tight. Maybe she is. Or maybe she’s really strapped for cash because she’s paying rent and electricity and food and school fees and phones - on her own. If he really is upset about THE KIDS missing out then he’s just pay it direct. Contacting CS is a low blow if it’s not absolutely valid.
Just a question - but why can’t your husband just pay for the excursions and camps? That’s what I’d do if they were my kids. I’d even be fine if dad said “hey if you really want to go on school camp I can pay for it?” Maybe he can then have the honour of dropping them off on the morning of camp. Or pick them up - that’s the best! Don’t start another fight with the mum because you think she’s being tight. Maybe she is. Or maybe she’s really strapped for cash because she’s paying rent and electricity and food and school fees and phones - on her own. If he really is upset about THE KIDS missing out then he’s just pay it direct. Contacting CS is a low blow if it’s not absolutely valid.