Sex getting worse, isn't it suppose to get better with age? Been with Partner for 19 years (I was 16, him 18, now both in mid/late 30s). Seriously the first 10 years were amazing but slowly its getting worse and so much less frequent. Only happens once a week and always has to bed in bed right before he goes to sleep. This I can handle but the actual foreplay and see is just dwindling, feels like a half effort from him and just wants himself to get taken care of. I guess the question is do you think.its just laziness and comfortbility or is it just part of getting older?
6 Replies
The frequency can definitely be because of age. I mean seriously I’m in my mid 40s now and I can’t imagine wanting sex more than once a week. 15 years ago it was as often as I could get it and wherever I can get it.
I don’t know what gave you the idea sex gets better with age? It changes and sometimes it worse, sometimes it’s less often, sometimes it’s more often.
I’m personally more concerned that the foreplay is dwindling. I’d be having a conversation about it.
The honeymoon period is over now. Happens to almost everyone. Once a week sex is better than a lot of women are getting after a long time together. I've been with my husband 16 yrs and ours is like this too. Its actually pretty normal. But if it bothers you, seek support to help fix it
All I can say is.
I’m 30, partner is 32.
Together 10 years.
Sex is once a month. Recently, once in 3 months.
It’s pretty shit to be honest, he’s like your husband. In and out. My “pleasure” doesn’t seem to matter.
My partner has depression and on medication, so ‘that’ could be the reason. *insert eye roll*, has no problem masturbating multiple times a month).
So I just let him have his 3 minutes once a month, and take care of myself. I rarely orgasm with him anymore, because I just can’t get in to it, but I can have multiple when pleasuring myself. And I can do it as often as I need the ‘release’.
Maybe you should invest in toys?
(I’m a clit girl, so don’t NEED toys, but a decent sized dildo never hurts.... well, it can, but, I was being punny.)
Nope, lack of effort is pure laziness.
It's a often as it is, you guys are the only 2 that need to agree on that but if he thinks he's getting his end wet you want to put your foot down.
I don't mind if every now and then I don't orgasm but it's certainly not from his lack of effort.
No it’s not normal, those saying it is have just accepted it for themselves instead of doing something about it. I’ve been with my husband for 14 years now, and after 4 babies, a child with special needs and my own health issues it’s definitely not anywhere near as frequent as it once was - it can sometimes be a couple of months between each time - but the quality hasn’t changed - he still meets my needs and makes sure I’m “taken care of” before he is.
This should be a celebration post. You have been together 19 years, still have sex weekly, and there is actually foreplay!! You have it great. Your expectations are unrealistic.