Am I wrong in waiting for all my children to be asleep before wanting to shut our bedroom door and have sex with my husband?
I have small children ranging from 7- 12 years old, my 12 yr old has anxiety, ADHD and asd, if we shut our bedroom door before he is sleeping he will start walking up and down the hallway near our bedroom, this makes me uncomfortable and anxious. on school nights he is usually asleep by 9 but because hubby works early in the morning he doesn't want to wait till he is sleeping cause he wants to go to sleep.
this has caused big issues around sex in our relationship.
am I being silly or is he being unreasonable?
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6 Replies
I don’t think you are being unreasonable. It’s pretty normal to wait until the kids are asleep (at least until they get a bit older). Sorry for hubby but having kids does limit opportunities for sex.
There is no way I could have sex while my kid was standing outside my bedroom door.
Agree
This is normal so change it up have morning sex when the kids are asleep
Even when our kids are out like a light I hear phantom foot steps and it puts me off lol. I can't concentrate, thinking they will walk in any minute. Theyre only 6 and 8.
But I definitely wouldn't be comfortable having sex while they were awake.
You’re not wrong wanting your children to be in bed before you get down.
However your husbands feelings should also be accepted as valid.
He’s tired and your 12 year old is skulking up the hall once your door closes taking away from your time together. Being it sexy time or just quality time. You’re more worried about your 12 year old than your relationship and how its affecting your relationship. I know he has anxiety.
Im assuming you are working on this with a therapist of some sort to try and reassure him that you aren’t going anywhere except bed and that him pacing the hallway and standing around at your closed door isn’t appropriate and he should really be in bed asleep getting rest in for the next day.
We sneak around... if they are all occupied (4 kids 7-14 one with asd and ADHD and another with undiagnosed issues).
Sometimes we will jump in shower together, close the bathroom door while they are absorbed in tv or PlayStation and have a sneaky BJ or QF or send them outside to play and have a quickie in the bedroom...
You gotta work together to find what works for you both