Hi everyone. Please help me.
I’ve been separated from my husband for just over a year now and we are on the same page in regards to filing for divorce. Both have other partners. 3 Kids are young 7-2. I feel like I don’t want to hold onto that surname, but also because my kids are so young, I feel it’s ok. I can file for divorce now, and change my surname in 10 years when my youngest starts high school right? Give me my options and what you guys have done!
Divorce and surname
Wednesday, 10 February 2021 - 06:48
Divorce and surname
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
If you think you might marry and change it to your new husband's name then i wouldnt legally change it until then. You can only change it 3 times in your life. You can still use a different name for everything except the legal stuff.
Where did you hear you can only change your name 3 times in your life? Too bad if you get married 4 times 😂
I think she means excluding married names
I’ve been divorced (2nd marriage) for about 4 years now and have kept my ex husbands surname. I don’t necessarily want to be identified by that surname (it’s not overly common) and in our area as soon as I say who I am I usually get asked if I’m related to my ex 🙄
BUT it’s my kids last names and all my qualifications are in this name as well.
I am unfortunately gifted with a birth surname, changed by depol name (when my mum married my stepfather) and I was young and stupid once and married for the first time at 18 surname. So that’s 4 legal last names including my current name from my last marriage.
I don’t identify with any of my past surnames - don’t know my bio father. Hate stepfather. Would rather forget all about my first marriage so I don’t feel I had any choice but to keep what I have.
Honestly in my option unless you plan on going back to your maiden name don’t change it, it’s so hard when filling out forms and providing identification for it. And it’s sooo much harder if you ever need a criminal check for work purposes as it takes so much longer as they have to check each last name you’ve used.
3 of my kids, have different last names. They all have their dads last names, all different , and ny last name is different to theirs too as i have my late husbands last name. It doesn't bother my kids ( they are all adults now ) and it was never an issue for them or me when they were younger either. Its only an issue if you want it to be, such as if you don't want different names on documents like medicare cards etc .. but It doesn't have to be an issue.
You can change it when ever you like, you don’t have to wait for the divorce but you also never have to change your name or you could do it anytime in the future.
Some people like to keep the same last name as the kids.
I have one sister who uses her married name professionally but her maiden name in her personal life.
Yep, you can keep the surname just to be the same as them. Just be aware its not easy for a teen to have a parent change name away from theirs either. Perhaps younger is better, as kids seem to roll with any thing as long as the connection is there.
Or you could just keep it forever, which is what I intend to do. I think whatever you feel you want to do long term is whats right for you.
I didn’t bother changing my last name after I left my ex. If I’d remained single longer I would have reverted back to my maiden name, however I found myself in a very committed relationship and remarried about 2.5yrs later. My kids use my now married name as their everyday last name for school etc but all things legal are still in their legal last name. My 18yr old daughter is now looking at changing hers legally.
I've kept my first husbands surname because when we separated my kids were young. I figured when they get older, I can change it. I got married for a 2nd time and kept my first husbands name too. Don't like my maiden name much, so easy choice for me.