I have recently found out my ex-husband cheated on me throughout our 10 year marriage.
We have 2 kids together. I am so angry, heartbroken and empty. How could I trust him? How did I not see it? Why? What's wrong with me? He plays innocent and naive so well but all along he played me.
I gave up everything for him and his children from a previous marriage. I lost my family, friends, hobbies, my mental health whilst with him....
I thought I was smarter than that. I waited too long to leave as it was. Now I feel used, abused and stupid.
5 Replies
Love and trust are not stupid.
Used and abused, yes. Not because you're stupid, or blind, or have something wrong with you.
He did this because he is an immoral fuckface who thinks he is more important than the fallout of his actions.
Your family are still there, reach out. Your friends might even still be there too. Family first, then your friends.
The biggest lesson here, isn't to build walls and refuse to trust anyone. It's to NEVER completely give away everything that makes you you. People will always have the potential to hurt us. It's your support network that reminds you how strong you are.
You see them differently after you know. The part you said you lost yourself while with him, that was a clue.
Just remember it takes 2 minutes to cheat, if someone wants to do it, the person that trusts is not the asshole in this situation. Not stupid, no naive, not even used because its his shitstorm in his crap life. You were just collateral damage. Process it and then be even more glad that you're out.
I can relate to how you feel. I felt stupid, and like my entire relationship was a lie. It shook my confidence entirely.
Its never too late to leave. Ten years of cheating is so much worse than a one off cheating fling. He is beyond rehabilitation.
It hurts - really hurts. Like you I gave up everything. When my ex did it It shattered my self esteem, sense of identity, my worth as a woman.... I am slowly rebuilding love for myself and that’s what I am focussed on. I am hoping in time the hurt becomes less. I am showing my kids what it is to be strong and self reliant. People would tell me his behaviour was a reflection on him not me. At first I blamed myself and then over time I see what they were trying to tell me. A big hug to you