My sister and I always had a close relationship growing up, until she met my brother in law. He is so competitive and a negative person all round, and he has manipulated my sister into believing that most of our family are bad. She pretty much has turned into a carbon copy of him which is so hard to deal with. He is always talking about people and what they’ve done wrong in his eyes. Contact has ceased but I’m having a hard time letting go, especially because I can’t be an aunty to my nieces and my boys can’t see their cousins. How do you get past that?
3 Replies
As much as you may not want to hear this, if U want your sister in your life you are going to have to suck it up unfortunately. Until she's ready to leave him, if ever! Learnt a long time ago to pretend to like my siblings partner or I'd lose them. Hopefully she wakes up and sees what a dick he is.
Even pretending doesn’t get us anywhere with him, he just doesn’t like anyone in our family and has basically manipulated her into believing that all of her family is bad. It’s just so disappointing as we were always so close! I hope one day she wakes up.
This was my life, my sister would lie to make her husband look good, would cancel plans at the last minute and be basically absent a lot. She still kept in contact but not a lot and would tell half truths (we knew this as the conversation was different between me and mum and my other sister) we chose not to get too upset about it but just keep in contact and know we had not gone away. She finally found her legs stood up for herself, and ended up divorced and happy. it still isn't easy for her to co parent, but we all talk every other day, no BS. it's like the world lifted off her shoulders. I really think she only took the leap of faith as we didn't give up on her. by BIL is a revolting human ..... has always been slimey and to this day is horrid.
You can't change her life but you can keep in contact so she knows people still care. Creeps like this seperate partners from their support circles, use emotional and financial abuse to keep them away from those who would otherwise help. don't let him take that. a text here and there costs nothing but might save her in the long run.