I have found a Facebook message from my husband to an ex co worker. He made the first point of contact saying hi etc. she didn’t reply so he went on to say if she doesn’t want to be friends she could just say but he thinks she was nice. Then Asked if she still lived in a specific location. She didn’t reply to any message he sent over 1.5 hours.
I confronted him about it to which he has told me it was innocent and meant nothing. Is it? I asked if he had plans to tell me which he said no. What would you do?
Cheating or not?
Cheating or not?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
14 Replies
Could be completely innocent. Might not be. Definitely not cheating though.
Men and women can be friends and message each other without it being sexual.
There is no evidence of anything other than friendship here.
If he has a past of inappropriate messages and relationships I could see why you might be on edge.
If there's no history of him cheating then why worry. There was nothing sexual in the messages. Why can't he be friends with someone just because she has a vagina? Doesnt mean for a second he wants to fuck her, since that's what you are thinking..
I wouldn't categorise this as cheating because there's nothing there that's particularly incriminating. He may well have have genuinely trying (and failing) to be friendly, he might have been hoping for something more explicit - not knowing him personally, I couldn't say one way or the other.
I will say his level of persistence and not taking the lack of replies as a hint to back off is kinda creepy though.
Definitely a creeper. Especially gross for a married man and I think possibly has a reputation as she didn't reply at all.
I wonder if you message her and ask her if he's been inappropriate with her or others before, she might have something to tell you.
She said it was in an hour or so. I could go days not reading FB messages. I'm not sure what about this says creeper at all.
I assumed this was a while ago now, she hasn't answered. He doesnt just say hi, he asks her to explain not wanting to chat and he then after that asks her where she lives, over an hour and a half with no reply, it says creepy to me.
Exactly ^^
Imagine you receive this within 1.5 hours:
"Hi"
"If you don't want to be friends you could just say but I think you're nice".
"So, do you still live at xxx?"
I'd be properly freaked out if I got a series of texts like this from an ex co-worker and I'd probably block the sender to be honest.
In my workplace lots of people aren't friends with colleagues on social media and that persists even after they've moved to a new workplace. These messages are very common when someone you used to work with adds you. Male or female. Context is important. If he says it's nothing, the OP needs to consider whether she is with someone she knows cheats or whether he's a good guy.
Well I agree that whether his motive was innocent or not he will say it is innocent because technically it is, nothing happened there because she didn't bite and either way he wouldn't have told her. So it comes down to his other behaviours, anything else off?
He sounds pushy. The lady does not even sound remotely interested in him or his messages at all.
If could be innocent but he sounds pushy and rude. Tell him to leave her alone.
She doesn't need to answer him nor is he entitled for an explanation. He should have just given up after the word "hi, hows things? Just thought I'd touch base, talk later!"
But he didn't. He sounds like a jerk and she wants nada to do with him.
My ex partner would do this. Send “innocent” msgs to women. Some wouldn’t reply at all some would reply a few times and then just ignore him.
I did gut feeling he was fishing for something more but as the msgs were innocent I let it go.
He ended up leaving me for the first women who showed interest while I was pregnant with our 4 th child. They just had a baby together and he has nothing to do with our baby.
Gut feelings are always right. But we don’t realise until it’s all over and done
Creep! He is contacting her to put the feelers out. She didn’t reply because she prob didn’t see the msg. If not I’m glad she didn’t reply. He obviously wanted to spark a conversation with her.