I have a son who is about to turn 13 and up until this year, he enjoyed playing football and was pretty good at it. After a bad coach experience he now dislikes it and does not want to play sport any longer. He has also withdrawn and lost a lot of his confidence which had taken us years to help him build.
He has been saving to buy himself a computer for gaming with his mates and tells me that he is one of the only kids without a computer.
I have told him that he needs to choose one sport or activity such as a martial art or team sport to do each week out of school to keep him fit and engaged. He got really upset and said he doesn’t want to and I shouldn’t make him. I also know that he is very headstrong and it will be a big effort to get him to start something.
How many parents out there push their kids to play a sport etc to keep them active? I feel that it is better to make him choose something than let him become physically inactive and only wanting to ‘game’.
I have had mixed feelings when asking friends about this.
Kids sport vs too much technology
Kids sport vs too much technology
Posted in:
Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
When I was in high school, a few of my mates were forced into activities/extra curriculars. They all resented it because it chipped into their already very limited free time and they were no longer (or never really were) interested in that actual activity.
One guy I knew was so tired of his dad pushing him in a particular sport, he ended up rebelling and went right off the rails, drugs, alcohol, crime - the whole thing.
Now I know that's a really extreme example but that pretty firmly solidified my view that sports/activities should only be undertaken if they're actually enjoyed.
I personally feel if you support his interest in gaming, he'll be more open to your point of view. I also think it's worth remembering that paid activities aren't the only way to have an active lifestyle.
My son (also 13) is also a keen gamer, but we have an agreement that he must spend at least an hour outside each day shooting hoops, jumping on trampoline or going for a scoot/bike ride. He also rides to and from school (roughly 15 minute trip each way). I also expect him to participate in family walks and there's a limit on how long he can play video games for.
My 15 year old son has never been overly sporty. He is very academic and musical instead. He is part of several string ensembles through school as well as a local youth string orchestra outside of school. He also did three years of debate after starting high school. He walks to and from school most days.
My 13 year old son, on the other hand, is very sporty. He’s been doing soccer for years and little athletics for the past couple of years. He didn’t end up doing soccer this year because when training was able to resume after restrictions eased, there weren’t enough players for a full team. I’m not sure whether he will play next year or not. When schools closed at the end of term 1 (QLD), I started walking daily with him because without being active it affected his mood and his sleep. He knew it affected him and would be at me continuously until I got ready, if I wasn’t ready to walk out the door at 8am.
I wouldn’t force your son into an activity he isn’t interested in. You would be wasting your money. If gaming is what he wants to do, then let him. BUT! Set the boundaries from the outset. He must do 30-60 minutes of physical activity a day. Does he walk to and from school? If you drive him, can you park away from the school a little so he has to walk a bit rather than being dropped at the front gate? A family walk every evening. Kicking a ball around the backyard. I don’t know what other gaming systems are like, but we’ve got a Wii with Wii fit and Wii sports/sports resort. That gets us moving if the weather isn’t great for getting outside. Also, homework and chores must be done before gaming. Plus a time limit for each day.
Do not do it..! My son is withdrawn, riddled with anxiety and has no technology and he won’t. I am his mum and I have the best interests for him. My son would hide behind this and not ever come out. Get your son back into sport. He will get so bored that he will want to. Don’t give him any gaming devices. It will destroy him. All my friends kids have technology and so does all of my sons friends but I don’t care. We aren’t in competition with anyone and I know what is best for my son. He has his whole life ahead of him and doesn’t need technology nor do my other kids. I hate it.