Hi guys ...
Has anyone ever left a marriage/relationship due to no affection or intimacy? I could literally walk around my husband naked and he wouldn't even bat an eye lid ... He'd rather go watch porn and get off that way and it literally kills me ... I need affection and sex is not just about sex it's about being close to my husband ... I've talked to him many times about how I feel but nothing has changed and I'm really considering leaving ... I go to bed alone every night he sits in the garage smoking and drinking beers and on his phone and sometimes doesn't come to bed until 3am ... It wasn't always like this just the last 8 months and I'm starting to think there is someone else ... I've spent the last 8 months in tears every single day and I'm not even exaggerating I just feel so sad about how he treats me ...
10 Replies
Since his behavior is so new, he's distracted by a possible two things : someone else or drugs. Drugs have signs like this too.
It is absolutely a thing to leave someone who makes no effort to connect with you. But in saying that, men disconnect when they are stressed or overloaded often too. The last 8-12 months have been stressful for many people. Have you asked him whats up with him? If there's anything wrong? Are you making an effort to connect with him in the way he may need right now also? You may well have to drag it out of him, but it definitely sounds like something is up.
Yes you definitely can leave over this.
But first have the conversation that 'for me, a satisfying relationship looks like closeness and sexual intimacy in these ways / this frequently. I understand thi ng s happen and it will go up and down, but its gone, so what is your idea for the long term? What do you want? Are we both on the same page with wanting it back and willing to put the effort in?' If not, and let him speak honestly, but if not then that leaves you to make the decision.
My ex was the same. I told him he was hurting me, he said that he is happy not having sex. I said I'm not. I asked him if I could sleep with other men, he said no. I asked him if we could compromise and meet in the middle with how many times we have sex, nope. I begged him to get his testosterone checked...nope. I couldn't stay anymore. My needs were not being considered at all and that's not how a relationship should be. I ended up having more sex while single compared to in a relationship.
I’m in the same boat here if u need to chat 💞💞
I could have written this word for word. Thought initially maybe he was depressed, we went to counselling etc I tried for months but we separated because it was just so miserable and life shouldn’t be like that. I found out by accident later that he had been having a long term affair and also issues with the pornography. I wish you the best of luck
I also could of wrote this word for word. I've been with my partner for near 10 years. His been this ways for many years. I recently went off birth control, because being on it upset me. Isn't like it was needed. His is addicted to phone games. And most likely porn. Everything else you say, is the exact same. I had a major cardiac event a month ago. He briefly looked at me frowned and walked away into the garage to continue to play his game. Didn't even come up when the paramedics came. Can't even leave him to watch our kids. So I couldn't attend hospital. I actually don't think he would care if I asked to sleep with other men. Not that I will. He hasn't told me he loves me in years. He was angry when his parents gave us a dinner voucher for Christmas. He won't be caught seen with me. Too add, he also has no friends. Which was his choice. Hence I suspect ASD. But if he refuses investigation then I refuse to use that as an excuse. Sorry this has turned into a rent for me. I can't give advice. As I'm on the same journey. Please feel free to contact me if you want to chat.
Hi Toni I am incredibly sorry to hear that you are going through a similar situation as me ... I have tried to pm you but can not find your profile :( I will keep trying anyways
This was my husband a few years ago. Ended up being drugs. It may be something different for you, but he’s definitely hiding something from you xo
I think it’s time to leave.