Just wondering if anyone has caught out a cheating partner using spyware on a mobile phone? I'm almost certain my husband is cheating from what others say but I don't have any solid evidence. He's a master manipulator and swears he's not but different people keep telling me otherwise. He always has his iPhone locked and I don't know the password, always has been very secretive about his phone. I also don't know his Apple ID. Any suggestions for app's that have been tried and tested would be appreciated
12 Replies
Suggest you just believe them. The fact you do, and you're locked out of all your partners comms is your answer. Oh, and 'HES A MASTER MANIPULATOR'. Is it the first time you've been cheated on? Because you might think you need the proof but you don't.
Think it through, after you leave youll look back and realise how unhealthy it is that all signs are there and you had people telling you he cheated.think through if you put in spyware, either way there's no future of the relationship.
Just get strong and decide what you truly believe and act on it. It's time to get out of there.
God if he's such a liar, why do you even need more evidence? Stop second guessing the signs. He's cheating.
If you don’t trust him at all then your relationship is already over.
Why do you need evidence? What will that achieve? You marriage is done, isn't it? You don't need evidence, you know in your heart the answer. Be strong. Get yourself out of this toxic situation.
Mate, you're flogging a dead horse.
You have called him manipulative.
You don't trust him, and that's on him it's not your fault you don't trust him.
Solid evidence?
Are you looking for an excuse to leave?
"I believe you're cheating, after so long being manipulated and lied to I really don't care for proof. The trust is gone and I don't want to live this way any more".
You don't need it. You don't need it for a reason to leave, you don't need it for closure, you don't need it as a buffer from the judgement of others. Fuck it. You just need to know you've had enough of the bullshit.
You’ll just make yourself crazy.
Time to trust everyone else and get him out of your life. There is nothing to be gained by getting other evidence.
The relationship should be done the minute you considered him manipulative and secretive.
You are buying in to the toxic drama of this relationship if you head down the road of spyware.
He's going to manipulate you that no evidence = innocence so you are wrong.
But you are right about this - you don't trust him, your friend's don't like your relationship, strange things are happening something is going on making you feel crazy, you're at the point where you're considering spyware. That really is enough. You dont need anything to leave, just being unhappy and knowing it's not right and normal and good is enough.
My question is: what happens if he is? You’ll leave. Save your energy and plot your exit.
He probably is. Unwanted to tell a woman I knew her husband was cheating(with their friend/kids friends mother) but I didn't know how or if she would believe me. ALL her friends seemed to know but everyone was afraid to tell her in case she didn't believe it.
I could have almost written this myself many years ago. With a man I loved, who told me everything I wanted to hear - but was living multiple secret lives. He was the absolute MASTER of fake!
I was so convinced he was cheating, it ate me up inside. I lost so much weight due to stress that I was classed as anorexic. I didn’t sleep, my periods stopped, I constantly felt sick, all my friends ditched me for going back to him. I was a wreck and he was just watching me slip away into a lifeless skeleton, whilst he played the game.
I finally gave in, downloaded a key stroke recording app to his laptop and patiently waited. Sure enough YEP I found it all after getting the password to his Facebook - he was working FIFO and had a whole other life with another woman. Promising her a baby even whilst I was pregnant and we had literary only just signed the papers to buy our new home.
Can I give you one word of advice?
Don’t do it. You honestly don’t want to know. I went through two years of therapy to get over that asshole, after 10yrs living with the man I thought I’d grow old with - but all along I had that gut feeling. EVERYTHING was a lie the whole god damn lot!
Upon calling this other woman, she had no idea I even existed. Whilst I sat at home every night taking care of his 3 children to another woman. It was the absolute lowest of lows you could ever imagine. Funniest part was, this other woman said that he had actually cheated on her with three women. So the multiple lives he was living was actually beyond anything any of us imagined.
I still wait for the day I see him on ACA as the lead story - “master manipulator cons hundreds of foolish women”
I wish I had never read all the messages and never known how bad he was.
I wish I’d just walked away. Saved myself the heartache.
If there is no trust - there ready is nothing. Hold your head high and run baby run!
Sit down with him, tell him what you have heard and ask to see his phone. If he refuses, walk away. It’s all about trust and if you don’t have it then no point being in a relationship.
I would highly recommend NOT using spyware.
My now EX was obsessive and jealous and manipulative and convinced I was having an affair.
I was not.
I kicked him out exactly 1yr ago on New Years Day when I found a hidden camera in our bedroom.
If you don't trust him, leave. BUT do not taint your relationship with this.
If the roles we reversed, like in my case, you would be appalled this happened to you. The violation of trust is beyond belief.
Just my take, as someone that has been in the situation.