Feeling so damn useless

I feel like I’m spiraling

I had a workplace injury and was off work for a time.
I then was working from home (doing all but 6 hours of my usual hours) as my injuries meant I couldn’t drive.
My workcover insurance company the had their “independent” medical examiner examine me via zoom and he stated that because it had been more than 6 months, my pain wasn’t due to my workplace injury.

Since then my work has said if I cannot work my full hours without restrictions, I cannot work at all.
I only had a few weeks of leave so that ran out quickly and now I am on unpaid leave.
I am the sole income earner for my family.
My husband was the stay at home parent but has been looking for work to help out but hasn’t had any luck, mainly as he has such an employment gap from being home with our children.

Now we have no income, which is stressing me out. I still have pain, some days more severe than others, my mental health is spiralling out of control. I have been having severe panic attacks, which I haven’t had for 20 years. I’ve even had fleeting thoughts of suicide so that my family get a payout (don’t worry, I am not planning on doing anything). I am finding it so hard to be happy and give my kids a good Christmas while I am feeling so damn useless and depressed

I have my union and legal representation but the appeal is going to take some time.
I have talked to my bank re mortgage and am going to contact elec/gas etc and speak to their hardship team.