Hello mums, has anyone experienced relationship issues after having a baby? My partner has been caught out speaking to other women, both himself and the other woman involved are adamant it has gone no further than talking. I on the other hand have been cheated on before and am equally devastated. I don’t want this to end our otherwise good relationship but I’m not sure I’ll ever move past the betrayal that I was caring for our newborn while they spoke to other women. Has anyone ever moved past issues like this for the sake of your children? Any counselling or support advice? Thank you, I can’t stop making comments to make him feel horrible about it because I can’t stop being mad.
Edit: He was speaking to a woman who contacted me to warn me. It was not romantic or platonic at all it was sexual in nature and very specifically discussing wanting to perform sexual acts etc.
12 Replies
It's a choice to forgive, but you're not bad, or defective, or any other name he might throw at you if you can't forgive.
Start with some counselling to see where your relationship is now. Get a look at the effort it's going to take to try to get it in a good place again. Then decide if he's worth it.
Do not ever take the "for the sake of the children" path.
As one of those kids, that is a fucking lot of guilt to bear because we do see what's happening, we do grow up, we do understand that you threw away many years of your life and possibly many opportunities for real happiness.
If you're staying it's because you love him, he loves you, and you're both putting in the work to bring this back together. Not some half cocked idea that your kids need you two together to be happy.
Wow, super extreme response considering she never said what they spoke about. Imagine if she carried on like this because he said hello to an old school friend
When's the last time someone wrote in over their partner saying hello to an old school friend and called it "being caught out" and having to stipulate both claim it went no further than talking.
Not really rocket science, you don't need those details to put a basic understanding of the conversations together.
Where does it say he threw names at her?
....he might throw at her...
Meaning if he doesn't like her decision and starts to, to ignore him.
Didn't think it was that hard to understand.
So much assumption by you ^^^.
'Might' is a big maybe isnt it! It Hasnt happened .
And I didn't say it would, but that IF he did to try to make her feel bad not to believe it.
Because although she MIGHT want to forgive him there's no shame in it if she can't.
What kind of talk? Are we talking? Romantically? I mean is he not allowed to talk to women?
Is he speaking to women, as I’m having a conversation with them or chatting them up?
I'd be so hurt if my partner was having these kind of conversations with women under any circumstances but I think it definitely adds insult to injury when you're post partum and already tend to feel a bit vulnerable.
I guess the only thing you can do is decide whether or not you want to get past this. I personally could not.
What a selfish pig! I def would not forgive or forget. While you are coping with a new born and the toll it takes on you as a new mum not only your mental health but physical there is that selfish pig doing that!! Mine would be out the door. No excuses for it nor would i believe that nothing happend. So glad the girl was nice enough to let you know. Do not be blinded by him. He obviously had intentions and if she didn’t contact you then you would never know. She has told you for a reason. He is a selfish pig! You have a new born and should be enjoying this time together. You will forever remember this at the time you had your baby.
I feel like I could have wrote this myself but my husband did have sex with the woman and her husband contacted me to tell me. I had the same feelings, how could he do this after we just had a baby, I’ve been looking after our newborn while he’s doing that etc. Firstly he needs to take full responsibility for what he’s done, only you can make the decision to forgive or not. I did (sort of) you never forgive them for what they have done but you need to work out a way to move forward. For me it took a long time, I also made the comments to try and hurt him back. My husband did everything I asked to help me feel safe and secure in our relationship and still to this day (this happened 6 years ago) I still have little anxious moments but I just tell him if those situations make me uncomfortable and he is more than happy to not do something to make me feel secure. I think I do trust him now and I am glad I stayed. But everyone is different, I think only you can make the choice. Good luck mumma it sucks terribly but if you do chose to go you will be fine.