Hi fellow IM’s. My husband and I have been having issues for the last 3 years, together 21 years. We’ve seen counsellors, things are ok for a while but then revert back. We still love each other very deeply and I could not imagine my life without him, we have 3 children together. I have found messages between him and another guy who goes to the same gym talking about how hot other girls are that go there, and he wants to see one particular girl (often) so he has something to look at when he works out and how they would give these girls one (have sex with), they mainly text about different girls, screenshots of their social media profiles etc, but they are both car mechanics so sometimes discuss the different cars they are working on. I know it’s bad that I snooped through his phone but I need to know if this is harmless and ok or if I should be worried that something is going to happen. I would never talk about other men like that to my girlfriends so I find it completely inappropriate. Help.
7 Replies
It’s inappropriate. I’d be furious.
Your having a rough time, and instead of focusing on your relationship he’s thinking about banging others. I wouldn’t be okay. Bring it up in counselling sessions.
I think a quick comment or perve is completely normal and somewhat healthy. But I think the fact they text a lot? about it, is a little bit weird. Obsessive?
I wouldn't really be okay with it. I'd be talking to him about it.
It’s creepy, sleazy behaviour. Not ok at all.
Honestly I’d loose all respect for a guy talking like that, wether they are single, married or what ever.
Everyone notices good looking people, but it’s a notice and move on. It’s not stalking there social media, and saying vile things to our mate.
Ugh, this is foul.
Apparently women STILL can't go to the gym without being sexualised and objectified by creeps.
The stalking of women's social media profiles is troublesome too.
Does it point to him potentially cheating? I mean, possibly...
It could also just be talk.
It's not harmless either way though.
so many issues, you obvs have trust issues. and if my other half was texting that kinda junk to a fellow gym buddy, i would be next level hurt, both that they try to be there to check them out and the at they have gone to the effort to find their FB and insta profiles. My guess if one of these chicks said hi they would jump at any opportunity given. I would front him and ask flat out. no point working on a marriage if he has checked out. Could it be a case of mid life crisis? trying to thi k the you g pretty girls are interested in 40yr old men? either way it's not cool. communication is the only way to know what's going on
There’s a difference to a sexy calendar in the workshop and what you’ve described.
Not at all appropriate! Not okay either. Maybe give a girl friend a call and start talking about hot guys, see whether he has an issue with it!