When someone does horrible things to you and says they did it because they think you deserve it, is this normal behaviour in a relationship?
When someone does horrible things to you and says they did it because they think you deserve it, is this normal behaviour in a relationship?
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13 Replies
No. That is abuse.
No it’s not normal
No
It probably depends on your definition of a horrible thing. If it's what you do actually deserve and just not what you want, then maybe it wasn't actually horrible. If it was actually horrible and their excusing their own bad behaviour, it's not right and you should rethink the relationship or call them on it.
Nope. If they think you deserve horrible things then the right thing for them to do is to leave you. Unfortunately not everyone is mature and some like to stay and conduct unhealthy relationships. All you can do is leave. When someone doesnt see the good in you, doesn't have your back no matter what, leave.
Op here. I should have phrased the last sentence 'is this normal behaviour in any form of relationship?' including exs, friends, etc.
It's the same answer
No. That's abuse. It doesn't matter what sort of a "relationship" this is.
No.
But in saying that, I don't 100% know what exactly the dynamic is.
I had this friend who was cheating on her husband. They separated and she got the shits when her husband started TALKING to another chick online.
I was like, you're seperated and having an affair... so what's wrong with what he's doing? You're judging him and really have no business to be doing that.
...
We are no longer friends.
So I really can't comment on the situation.
But if the person is doing something and says they're only doing something specifically negative towards you because you deserve it, then it's abuse.
Depends on the horrible things done.
Need context to answer this.
It's pretty vague.
My ex did this and he was a true narcissistic. Would blame me, no emotion, no sorry, no remorse, no wanting to stop. Just blame, gaslighting, verbal, physical, emotional, spiritual, mental abuse.
Please contact DV services, make a plan with them to leave and then leave. It only gets worse...
No it’s dv. Look up the cycle of dv.