I’ve been cheated on by a long term partner who gaslit and emotionally manipulated me. Blindsided and absolutely devastated, it’s already been 4 months since we’ve broken up, 2 months since I found out everything and I’m so shattered. For some reason I can’t get over him but I’m so angry and disgusted by what he’s done I feel well and truly f***ed over emotionally and mentally.
Is there hope to move past this? I’m struggling with rebuilding myself and wondering if I’ll ever find the right one to be with.
Edit* I am seeing a counsellor but I’ve just lost all hope in men.
What did you do to move past this and rebuild trust?
5 Replies
Therapy. Therapy. Therapy!!
Yes, there is but you need to give yourself longer than 4 months. 4 months post any serious relationship breakdown is a short time.
I also wish I’d gotten my arse into therapy sooner.
It took me 3 or 4 years to get to a point where I had rebuilt my self esteem and felt happy within myself, after leaving an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. Take your time. Concentrate on you and your children. The right man will come along when the time is right for you.
Same thing has happened to me in similar timeframe. The best advice I was given - concentrate on building yourself and your children up. Be the steady rock for yourself and your kids. You don't need anyone else right now. You have you- you have your kids- and right now that's enough. Love will come - you don't ned to rush it. Take your time
Definitely hope!
I had 3 long term relationships all 3 cheated on me - for a long period of time. One of them actually married the girl he cheated on me with.
I decided to have some time away from dating. Had a year to myself. After a while I joined eharmony, just to chat to some people and see what was going around. I think i met 3 people for dates, nothing really happened. Started talking to a guy we couldn't meet because he was down at the police academy, so we ended up talking for a solid 4 months before even meeting. We've now been together for 8 years, married for 3.
I never really thought anything would happen on that site (we never actually told anyone how we met because we were quite young), but this man is made for me.
I would keep some time to yourself, and just be happy alone. Go out with your friends/family and just hang out without being accountable for someone else. I still struggled to trust - I still do. I think after that many issues it will just always be there. But I trust him enough not to hurt me.