How do I care about myself?
How can I make myself care about how I look?
I know it's a strange thing to ask... but i can't be bothered with myself.. make-up, hair, weight etc.
Don't get me wrong, I shower twice a day, I'm a clean person... I just am frumpy and tired.....
I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I do have high anxiety problems, and iron issues but currently medicated for those.
I have a blended house with 6 kids full time(3 are mine 2 are his, 1 is ours and all live with us) 4 of which have minor medical issues, and 1 of them is only 1 year old the other is a 16 yr old teenager.
I think I'm tired. And just can't be F'ked but I'd like to not be tired and be f*ked ......but I don't know how.
I don't go anywhere to be dressed up with make up and just slobbing around the house with a 1 yr old isn't really an event to get dressed up too. My husband is supportive and helpful around the house and the baby sleeps most of the night if not all night, most nights. So it's not a matter of him not helping or being useful or the baby causing my tiredness....
I don't really know what I'm asking... i guess...what do I need to do to care about myself? What motivates you to do those little things for yourself?
5 Replies
From my own perspective, the comments you made about not going anywhere worth getting dressed up for...
When I was on mat leave I tried to still get up and get dressed and do my hair and make-up as if I was leaving the house 3-4 times a week.
I felt this helped me feel routine and like it was my day officially starting.
You dont have to do these things, you don't have to wear make-up. As long as you're comfortable and happy thats all that matters. If make-up does that for you, please do. If not then don't force yourself x
I don’t wear makeup, it’s never been my thing. I will use a tinted moisturiser on the days I’m working or heading out of the house for something, on the rare occasions I go out for dinner I might use a tinted lip gloss or lipstick. If makeup is your thing, and helps you feel ready for the day, go for it. You do what helps you feel prepared to face the day.
You say you don’t feel depressed but it’s possible you’re just starting that downward slide. How much exercise do you get? Start walking for half hour most days. Pop baby in the pram once the other kids are off to school and off you go. Or make it a family activity and go before or after dinner. I know myself when I feel myself on the downward slide into depression, I have to force myself to get up and start walking or do some other form of exercise. My 13 year old son has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and knows if he’s not active everyday it affects his sleep and how he feels in general.
Do you get ‘me time’ everyday? It could just be 10 minutes of kid free/partner free time. Have a shower, read a book, do some other activity you don’t get time to do with kids hanging off you. Organise the occasional night out with friends, leaving the kids home with dad/stepdad. Also ensure your partner gets some time for himself as well if he wants it.
For me it's not about dressing up or wearing makeup as I'm just not going to do it. For me self-care is taking 5 to 10 minutes to sit outside and enjoy a cup of coffee or maybe even buying myself one lol. It might be finding a book that I love and taking 10 minutes a night before I go to sleep to go someplace else. Or I love putting my headphones on and listening to music while doing the dishes/housework. I will once every couple of months go to get my eyebrows waxed as I thought that was something I could accomplish lol. Only you can decide what self-care is for you, what energises you and helps you to feel better <3
It’s inertia! You’ve been looking after kids and putting everyone else first for so long it’s just become a habit. You need just start something else and once you get used to the new way you will want to keep going. Don’t think of it as trying to look good, make it about feeling better and having more energy. Being healthier/ fitter for your self and kids for the long term. Start with one thing - healthier eating or exercise for example. Do a online ‘challenge‘ program and commit to it for 8 weeks or whatever and see how that get you motivated and go from there. As a mum we get so tied up in the kids lives and well-being and need to reassess and give some time and energy to ourselves
I have honestly wanted to make this exact post.
Mumma I FEEL YOU !! its not that I don't want to its just that I seem to be unmotivated when it comes to myself. at the end of the day, I don't really give a f*#k about what I look like or what other's think about me I'm happy with my little fam and my partner has had me at much much worse :P but I'm at a point where I want to care. I agree with other comments saying just start with something small like going for a walk.. I started walking my dog once all the kids are off to school. But that only lasted a week because again, motivation. I recently saw a thing about check lists being helpful with motivation through out the day. it also mentioned self care being something that should be added to a persons daily list. I'm about to try it out. I don't know if it will work but anything is worth a try :) Remember your worth loving too :)